The name muffin is given to two types of breadstuffs, one a yeast-leavened item, and the other a "quick" bread raised with baking powder or baking soda.
The "quick" muffin is a thick, flat bun typically about 8 cm in diameter. In modern practice, it almost always has a "topping" baked in, such as blueberries or chocolatechips. It usually split into two, toasted and buttered, and bears a vague resemblance to a crumpet or pikelet.
I can't remember what they're called, but they kick ass... I think it's "butter rum" or something, with rum baked in it. It really does taste like sex.
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, eating a muffin while her dad gets
his haircut.
The barber smiles at her and says,
"Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."
"I know," she replies.
"I'm gonna get tits too."