To the Management,
I wish to register the following complaint; that at 17:53pm on Monday 18th July, upon visiting your "Off-topic chat" forum I was willfully and maliciously accosted by the thread entitled "Meet a girly! Who yes, does play this too much ^_^". The above-mentioned thread, after knocking me to the floor with a large styrofoam baseball bat, then proceded to steal my lunch money (£9.60 in total) and make mock of my religious and cultural views.
As I tried to stand up from the floor, aforementioned thread then stepped on my fingers then danced a small yet energetic jig whilst pointing at me and chanting "Ha ha I stood on your fingers, Ha Ha!".
As a result I am now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder associated with physical and verbal abuse, which my psychologist describes as "acutely severe". Due to my low self-esteem, I am now afraid to open a new browser tab and visit the TaleWorlds forum and I suffer from extreme malaise every time I open a new thread.
Therefore I am writing to you to inform you that I will be pursuing legal action against you and seeking adequate compensation for my monetary losses and emotional distress. You will be hearing from my solicitor shortly.
Sincerely,
Miss F. Ake