"Marry Our Daughter"

[Grunwalder]

I've made myself an e-mail and a name. Arnold Schwimmer, third-generation Bavarian immigrant, born in 1987, works for a contractor in Houston, Texas.

My e-mail?

[email protected]



Anyway, I have to propose with a max 1000 word message. What should I say?

Nairdill, that's disturbing. Just buy yourself a cute little Filipino and be done with it...

On another note, I showed this to my wife and she threw up a little in her mouth.

This is really creepy...

 

[Trooper5445]

Just go ask a non-Christian about Jesus and write that down.

I was caught in a loop 3 times while writing this 

 

[Tuckles]

Say something like "I know you're in it for the money, etc etc etc" All the while hinting that you'll be giving her all the cash she can want.

Nairdill, that's disturbing. Just buy yourself a cute little Filipino and be done with it...

Truedat brother. We're cheaper too.

 

[Instag0]

I'm still doubtful that this site is even for real. It's too good (see: hilarious) to be true.

 

[Yair Hunter]

All the "testimonials" mention the parent's profit... Either it's not real and they're written for added shock value(I didn't expect them to be so.. open about that part), or it's even more overtly greed-motivated than I thought.

 

[Instag0]

Regardless of its legitimacy, it does provide a good laugh.

 

[Grunwalder]

Make up some bull**** about a near-death experience?

Hmm, yes.

Maybe I should be a soldier serving on Greenland, and want her to come with me to live in Nuuk

Naridill, that's disturbing. Just buy yourself a cute little Filipino and be done with it...

No thanks, I'd rather have a Russian woman, then.

You're a little small in frame for that. They're a little too hot blooded for you.

 

[morgoth2005]

This reminds me of farming. You make a large family on some farm in the South, and then just when the girls grow up you sell the little bastards off, for good bucks. If it's real. As far as we know it could be just some Russian hackers having a laugh.

Nar: good choice.

 

[Raz]

Hah, this is so ridiculous! The 13 y.o. reminds me of my 6 y.o. girl next door. Who would want to marry a 13 y.o. for Christ's sake?

 

[Trooper5445]

This reminds me of farming. You make a large family on some farm in the South, and then just when the girls grow up you sell the little bastards off, for good bucks. If it's real. As far as we know it could be just some Russian hackers having a laugh.

Nar: good choice.

Disturbing yet possibly true. I'm more inclined to think hacker at this point.

 

[mrcrotch]

It's like my fantasy.

 

[Dryvus]

"Gaby has traveled a lot and seen enough of the world to realize that America is where she wants to live"

Where the **** did she go? Yellowknife?

I've made myself an e-mail and a name. Arnold Schwimmer, third-generation Bavarian immigrant, born in 1987, works for a contractor in Houston, Texas.

My e-mail?

[email protected]



Anyway, I have to propose with a max 1000 word message. What should I say?

For the love of God, something Holmgang-esque.

Edit: At the top left, it says 'Sign Up Our Daughter'. 

 

[morgoth2005]

BTW sorry for spam:

MOAR HOLMGANGZ!!!

 

[morgoth2005]

Better than nothing. By the way, we Russians are way tall. I'm taller than most of my school and yet I'm only 15. And we got an awful lot of viking blood too. While you got a lot of Swedish...

 

[Skit]

what is your "way tall"

 

[Ancientwanker]

Ive never seen a faker site.  Lemme guess, pay first. 

The ads were all written by the same author, same style, and werent written by anyone's parents. Quite a few seem to be stressing that the daughter has "wild side" of some sort.  One girl is already managing a restaurant and has "doubled its profits"....at 16? 

 

[Tarrantmw]

Ive never seen a faker site.  Lemme guess, pay first. 

The ads were all written by the same author, same style, and werent written by anyone's parents. Quite a few seem to be stressing that the daughter has "wild side" of some sort.  One girl is already managing a restaurant and has "doubled its profits"....at 16? 

 

[Ancientwanker]

You can select any Bride Price you choose, but if we approve your daughter for listing then we will charge you an upfront fee of 5% of the Bride Price you are requesting.

 

[Merentha]

Ive never seen a faker site.  Lemme guess, pay first. 

The ads were all written by the same author, same style, and werent written by anyone's parents. Quite a few seem to be stressing that the daughter has "wild side" of some sort.  One girl is already managing a restaurant and has "doubled its profits"....at 16? 

Don't forget that some descriptions seem to switch from image to image, as well as some of the prices. 

 

[morgoth2005]

I'm talking about the nobility who became our Kings... and died out by the way. They were fierce enough to be norse.