Jhessail 说:
I rather meant that should I get married to a lord or become a lady first, when to pledge my support to a king or a claimant and so on.
I find the best way to proceed is to get an idea of the personalities of the lords and take a look at their distribution amongst the starting kingdoms. You want to be thinking about how you will get the best lords to your kingdom; those being the Upstanding and Good-Natured lords. These guys are extremely loyal and won't be randomly defecting to other kingdoms. So your ideal target husband is:
a) Good-Natured (Upstanding lords won't want to marry a warrior lady)
b) Owns a castle (best that he starts with one so you are guaranteed an extra property coming your way
c) In a faction that DOES NOT have a lot of other Good-Natured or Upstanding lords
Your husband will always join your revolt if he likes you enough, which is pretty easy to accomplish with Good-Natured lords, so that's one freebie lord that would otherwise be very hard to pry away from his liege.
It is important to not have a lot of good lords on the faction you're going to join, because the only two ways that good lords lose relation with their liege is by being defeated in combat, or by seeing their fellow lords be indicted for treason. The treason thing is a wash, because mid-game, a lot of lords will be bouncing around (also, the indicted lord's properties will usually be given to the good lords, cancelling out the loss there). The one thing you can control though, is personally beating the snot out of the good lords, to lower their relationship with their liege, thereby making it easier to convince them to defect to you when the time comes.
With those things in mind, you want to do your typical leveling up, equipping yourself, setting up enterprises, and gathering companions as an independent/mercenary while you scout out the potential best husband. Then join the faction of your husband, get married, and start carving out some juicy cities for yourself. With enough renown, it shouldn't be too hard to get at least two assigned to you. Try to not severely weaken one faction to the point where it can be eliminated by someone else until you have actually rebelled and are in a position to find the good lords that would be dispersed, and bring them into your kingdom.
You can use the claimant if you want; this provides the advantage of being able to use faction-specific troops to fight against that faction without taking the penalty to morale. But you would have to convince your husband to join the rebellion; he won't join without a persuasion check. I find it easier to collect some elite troops that don't belong to your faction and rebel using those troops.
