M&B Comedy Club

[Phoss]

32. You reach to the dash board of your car for the shift button to take a closer look at the sign up ahead.

Edit: Almost forgot: When people spell Calradia 'Caledria' or 'Caldaria'

 

[orbitup]

33. You have bruises on your face from telling your friends "Let me see your equipment."


Overheard in a tavern in Tihr at 8am - "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."

 

[hermanJnr.]

I forgot quite an obvious one

34. You frequently engage in risky behaviour, such as overtaking on bends, stepping out in front of buses and insulting large, angry men on the logic that the wounds you receive will only take 2 nights at the tavern to heal, and at worst you'll just be knocked out.

Also, to break the list with a (very) lame joke:

Why are Militia so similar to corpses? They're both attractive career prospects for Recruits 

 

[Phoss]

35. You hit F12 before leaving the house, just in case something ****ty happens.

 

[CryoNomad]

Seriously people.

1 through 35 go here:

http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,29884.0.html

 

[penquin11]

- when you label your kitchen knifes with estimated damage values..
- when you ask where you can buy a balanced spachula..
- When you believe that the common thief is a half naked wimp (looter)
- When you try to use cars as chargers...
- When you put a numerical value on your relation with a friend..
- When you only buy bread for your family to eat with the justification that it gives a +8 morale bonus..
- When you inist on buy "heraldic clothe" for your family.
- When you give your wife a hammer, some clothe, and some tools and then insist that she prepare a block party....

 

[Fearghus The Killer]

Seriously people.

1 through 35 go here:

http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,29884.0.html

Seriously, a bit outdated.

 

[Dragnguard77]

You get rear-ended by another car and you get out and say "don't worry, at least it wasn't a crouched lance".

 

[Lord Doom]

You just met a nice girl in a bar:

You: Tell me about your skills
Her: WTF??
You: Let me see your equipment!
Her: *slap*

 

[Remedius]

36 - you move into your new house but have to leave your wife behind cos you forgot to pack the velvet and tools - sorry luv - i'll go fetch the charger.

37 - at the end of your work you sit your colleagues round a stationary fire in the middle of the office floor and do some sparring practice while you read the next enstalment of De re Militari - and you can't even read Latin!

38 - your lastest argument with wifey goes - I think it would be a good idea to resolve a faction dispute between the king and lord Delinard - well I think it would be a good idea to take out the rubbish!

 

[Dragnguard77]

-You go too the neighbors asking for quests.
-You go to Burger-King and ask "where is the king" so you can be one of his vassals.
-You try to click "F" to try to enter the house or car.
-When angry, you yell a battle cry at the office.
-When you find people in a bar, you try to recruit them.
-When there are Travelers getting off a bus, you ask them, "What can you tell me about this land?".
-When you see a poor person walking on the street, you ask, "How is life here?".
-When you find a herd of cattle, you try to drive the cattle to a local military base.

 

[Remedius]

Khergits - boom boom !

 

[ok3]

39 - When you just ****ed up and try to load a old save irl