Jokes and other assorted atrocities.

[Arvenski]

Why are the wives of Islamic extremists always unhappy with their sex lives?

Spoiler

Their husbands never last long.

 

[Silver Von Mint Jams]

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Spoiler

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

 

[MadocComadrin]

Warning: light math!
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John.
Question Where is John's father?

Spoiler: Hint

Fractional and negative years are allowed.

Spoiler: Answer

In Amanda. If you solve the system of equations, you'll find that John is -9 months old.

 

[Lord Brutus]

Waited 4 years for that?

 

[MadocComadrin]

Wait for my next joke 4 years from now. If you solve it, you'll piss yourself laughing and win a millennium prize at the same time!

 

[Lord Brutus]

Is "pissing myself laughing" some kind of prize?

 

[kurczak]

edit: getting dumber and dumber

 

[MadocComadrin]

Is "pissing myself laughing" some kind of prize?

Only if you're into watersports.

 

[Adorno]

- Did you know the game Mortal Kombat is actually based on a church song?
- Really?

Spoiler

- Yes, a Finnish Hymn

 

[Arvenski]

 

[kurczak]

Spoiler: mfw dad jokes now refer to Mortal Kombat

 

[Mad Vader]

Making puns is the lowliest form of human creativity.

Spoiler

 

[BenKenobi]

Why are there pyramids in Egypt?
Because the British museum in London is too small.

 

[Mad Vader]

Why does the Dane cross the road?

Spoiler

To change it to "røad"

 

[Antonis]

Is that some form of boomer humour I'm too millennial to understand?

 

[Piconi]

I think it's the
"In Sweden you aren't born, you are björn"
kind of joke.

 

[Mad Vader]

Well, original jokes are somewhat cringy usually, although the right delivery at the right opportunity may compensate.
But anyway to explain it (if someone dancing to sirtaki while drinking mastika didn't get it), it's about crossing the o in road (word) conflated with crossing the road (infrastructure for chicken crossings).

 

[Antonis]

Well, I did get it, I just thought it was the dad-diest of dad jokes. And fyi, I abhor both traditional dances and anything mastiha flavoured. For the latter, the obnoxious advertising, trying to pass it as a bezoar for every illness, real or imaginative, probably has a lot to do with my unfathomable depths of hatred.

 

[Adorno]

I heard a guy reading a passage from Dante's Inferno the other day. It sounded like hell.

 

[Bluehawk]

Boooo