Jokes and other assorted atrocities.

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Seff

Cool Hand Luke
Duke
M&BWB
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How do you get 10 babies in a bucket?

Blender.

How do you get 10 babies out of a bucket?

Tortilla chips!
 

placenik

Knight at Arms
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Whats the difference between truckload of babies and truckload of sand?
You can't load sand with pitchfork.
 

Moose!

poorly-drawn
Duke
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You shouldn't be allowed to tell jokes about stuff like that on this forum unless you've been affected by it somehow.  :neutral: For example, I can tell holocaust jokes because I own an oven.

:razz:
 

Evelyn

Goblet
Duke
WF&SWBNWVC
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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
 

Delora Filth

Do you want to run this ship?
Marquis
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:lol: I have a menorah somewhere. That count?



Why don't black people get sunburned?

Prison is indoors.
 

Delora Filth

Do you want to run this ship?
Marquis
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When the student is ready, the teacher will come. Great Chinese proverb. Horrible defense in court.
 

Seff

Cool Hand Luke
Duke
M&BWB
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What's the definition of sickness?

Fingering your little sister and finding your dad's wedding ring up there.
 

AWdeV

Duke
M&BWB
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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. 24 babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by and, to the gays delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."

The nurse says, "He's happy now, but just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass."
 

Delora Filth

Do you want to run this ship?
Marquis
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A friend of mine asked me "What would be the first thing you did if you turned invisible?"

"I'd go to Paris, find a street mime and beat him to death. The round of applause he'd get would be astounding."
 

Selothi

Baron
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Four gay men walk into a bar. After a few beers, they decide to have a farting contest.
The first guy prepares himself, and let's out a short "Pffffff". The other three nod, saying it wasn't bad.
The second guy goes ahead, with a longer "Pffffffffffft". They nod, acknowledging the length and slight wet ending.
Third guy goes ahead: "Pffffffffffffffffffsht". They all clap, saying that's a brilliant one.
Finally, the fourth guy goes ahead, and lets out a massive ripper. The other three look at him: "Oh, so you're a virgin ?"


Translated from French, so sorry if it's a bit ****.