Jokes and other assorted atrocities.

[Cyborg Eastern European]

So what?

 

[killer-blead]

Heh I'm so popular I get laid almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost of Tuesday, Almost of Thursday etc.

 

[Beny]

I know what I'm doing on Halloween.

The first one that comes knocking

 

[Nahkuri]

An Irishman walks past a bar.

 

[Delora Filth]

A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a drink here?" The bartender replies "For you sir, no charge".

 

[Setherythe]

Spoiler

Schrödinger's cat cat walks into a bar.











And doesn't.

Maxwell's Demon walks into a bar.










And replaces the bouncer.

 

[Delora Filth]

My neighbor is always ready do do me sexual favours. My favourite is when she has me babysit her eight year old daughter.

 

[Vieira151]

 

[Nahkuri]

Relationships are a lot like fat people.
They usually don't work out.


Incest: generally relative, but not always apparent.


A German, an Irish man, a Portuguese and a Greek walk into a bar. The German pays.


My neighbours daughter has a really bad stutter.
By the time she manages to say stop, I've already finished.


I had a terrible youth. My dad was a pedophile and my mum died when she was 12.



My daughter dresses so provocatively
I'm sure her nappies are getting skimpier.


I used to be a huge fan of Robocop and now I've just been fitted with a prosthetic leg. Oh the iron knee.


I recently a newspaper headline and it read: "MAN HELD AFTER RAPE."
I thought, it’s nice to cuddle afterwards.


I like my women the way I like my wine.
Preferably over 10 years old, but if you have to pick one up from a service station on the way home from work, you can't be too fussy.

 

[killer-blead]

Brilliant Nahkuri

 

[Delora Filth]

A good day for jokes indeed. Love all the pun jokes Nahk.

 

[Beny]

The Dalai Lhama walks into a pizza take away and says:
"can you make me one with everything?"

 

[Eктωρ]

Gandhi walks into a pizza take away and says:
"can you make me one with everything?"

You know that there's a variation that changes Gandhi for Dalai Lhama? And that once a person actually told that joke to him?]
Why am I telling you this? Because your joke is not funny.

 

[Beny]

Ah, it seems i got those two mixed up 

No need to be such a **** about it though

 

[MadocComadrin]

So a ditz walks into a bar...
and wakes up three days later in a hospital. Badum-tsh.

What's a communist's favorite dance?
The Foxtrotsky

Spoiler

Horrible, I know.

 

[Dalkar]

I like my women how I like my Starbucks: Weak with an unwieldy cup size.

 

[MadocComadrin]

I like my women how I like my Starbucks: Weak with an unwieldy cup size.

Gee, I thought you were going to say expensive and wearing a cardboard tube. 

 

[Delora Filth]

I like my women like I like my dogs. Six years old, submissive, and tied to a peg in my backyard.

 

[Ares]

Nothing screams paedophile like the seven year old in my cellar.

How many dead hookers can you fit in a garage?


Two more if I move my bike.






What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?



Gang rape.

 

[Eктωρ]

I like my women like I like my dogs. Six years old, submissive, and tied to a peg in my backyard.

I like my women like I like my enemies, on the ground, crying and screaming for mercy.