Jokes and other assorted atrocities.

[pentagathus]

imdeed

And to balance it out, a much ****ter joke on fiddles.
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? You don't spill beer on the violin.
Apparently it  humerous to some folk folk.

 

[Swissky]

If Trump would win the election, I guess it's true that orange is the new black. 

 

[Mad Vader]

Trump is an offense to real orange.
  - Snookie

 

[Swissky]

From 1951 to 1978, Alka-Seltzer's slogan was "Relief is just a swallow away." Now there's a missed shot at a rape joke.

A gondolier was paddling away whilst whistling happily, he spots another gondolier with a sad face a hunched stance. The first gondolier asks "What's wrong?" The second gondolier says that his wife just passed away. The first gondolier replies with "My gondolences"

 

[rebelknight]

From 1951 to 1978, Alka-Seltzer's slogan was "Relief is just a swallow away." Now there's a missed shot at a rape joke.

A gondolier was paddling away whilst whistling happily, he spots another gondolier with a sad face a hunched stance. The first gondolier asks "What's wrong?" The second gondolier says that his wife just passed away. The first gondolier replies with "My gondolences"

you deserve a spanking for that one. 

 

[Swissky]

The entire post or any of the two?

 

[Vraelomon]

...These go to eleven.

Smugness that I got that instantly intensifies.

 

[Patchouli Knowledge]

Literally every living person has seen that.

 

[Jace]

But how many have seen the full version?

 

[Delora Filth]

What's the most unrealistic thing in Harry Potter?

隐藏

A ginger with two friends.

 

[Somewhatpro]

My favorite Gordon Ramsay meme is

隐藏

this dish has so much ginger it's a Weasley

 

[Vraelomon]

Literally every living person has seen that.

But not the person's that are my age 
Now I'm insecure and have to find some 90's kids memes.

 

[Bluehawk]

What are you talking about, Life is Strange is only 10 months old.

 

[Krik]

Literally every living person has seen that.

I actually haven't seen the movie, but I still knew what he was referencing.

 

[Delora Filth]

How many TES player characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

隐藏

One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.

 

[Vraelomon]

 

[JamesThompson]

What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?

隐藏

When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.

 

[nikosierra125]

How many TES player characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

隐藏

One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.

The one I heard is :

How does an Irish man screw in a light bulb?

隐藏

He holds the bulb and drinks until the room starts spinning

My Irish Gf was unimpressed with my joke 

 

[Delora Filth]

And in that spirit.

What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long-legs.

What do you call an Irishman trying to break up a fight?
Liam Malone.

What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

 

[Paronomasia12]

What's red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry