Issue with Freelancer Portion

[Galdis]

Simply put, I became a lord while I was enlisted in an army.  At first, I was given the option to retire from the lord's army.  Now, I can't.  Do I just have to leave to go to the Crusades and never return to get out of the service without losing too much reputation with the lord?

 

[Galdis]

Even when I try to leave to go Crusading, I am still stuck in the party.  Is there any way that I can get stop serving my lord and go off on my own, either through the game mechanics or modifying the save file?  It seems the only way to leave right now is to desert, revolt against my commander, or be released of my oath and then retire from service, none of which I want to have to do.