Doesn't seem to play out like that, Khan gave me 5 town I asked for (I'm greedy) so far and other stuff to other Clans I voted for, friends help out friends.
I always have more influence then him because I'm more proactive and skilled at warfare so my dungeon is always full of enemy lords.
If he did hate everyone and keep all the land it still wouldn't worse then warband's ultra late 'you waited too long' endgame where all the lords leave the realm and the AI kings own everything but gots no lords.
My king, Caladog, keeps giving himself every single fief. He has 15k influence. Relations do not matter, I conquered 3 cities in a row, voted for him in 2 to get my relations with his clan to 100, and then voted for myself in the last one, the king gave it to himself.
Quite simply, the king has so much influence that he can override every single kingdom decision.
My clan is tier 3 and only has 1 castle. Nothing else. I've been spending the past 2 days conquering cities and voting for myself with 300 influence to try and get a single one, and he always took them. All for himself.
It's definitely playing out like OP says.
I think part of the reason my king has so much influence is that he keeps recruiting every single mercenary band he can get his hands on, and the influence they get goes directly to him. Between that, and a couple of policies that give influence to fief owners, he's just.. snowballing influence like crazy.
there is a policy that makes king overruling cost double influence, i think.
You gave me hope earlier today; I tried this. Policy went active without issue.
Caladog still gave himself 2 cities and a castle afterwards. He didn't care. I kept an eye on his influence, he seemed to lose around 200 influence each time he overrided a vote, WITH the policy active. He has 15k influence.