Improving vassal relations?

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DaLagga

Squire
How exactly do I improve the relations with the lords that are under me?  If I grant one of them a fief, I get +10 repuation with them, but -3 for all of my other lords.  Seeing as how I have 8 lords at the moment, that's basically a +10 reputation at the cost of a total -21 reputation.  I'm not winning any friends that way.  I apparently can't do quests for them (which makes sense seeing as how I'm their king I suppose). 

I read somewhere that hosting feats improves relations but it's not working.  Whenever I host a feast, even though I'm loaded with supplies in the larder, it only lasts less than half a day, I get somewhere around 80-90 renown, and that's it.  And for some reason I only lose like 1 unit of each good that's being used for the feast.  Is this normal?  How can I get on better terms with my vassals? 
 
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