I'm staring to make a new video.Could anybody help me on the lines?

[Max.Pain]

Anyway , I've got a 9 day vacation , so I'm planning on a new video . I've already had the bgm chosen, the lines written,but as you can see,my English is rather awkward . So , can anybody here gimme a hand?

Here are the lines:

When we chose to be knights
We chose to hew to the knights' principle

From the capital to the border area
We stay noble and true
From dawn to dusk
We stay sharp and clear
From the burning sun to the freezing rain
We stay durable and staunch
From one battlefield to another
We stay loyal and faithful

Even the strongest warrior might face a rough going
Even the strongest steed might get injured and fall
Even the strongest shield might batter and break

But our strong spirits will never yield

No one can choose to be a hero

but those who chose to fight for justice

shall be long remembered

BTW:I know the beggining is especially awkward , but I just don't know how to start it .

 

[Gregor Eisenhorn]

Do you want rhyme or rythm to it? I assume you are asking for someone to re-write the lines in a more english-friendly way, but do want it to have any special ring?
EDIT:

1When we chose to be knights
2We chose to hew to the knights' principle

3From the capital to the border area
4We stay noble and true
5From dawn to dusk
6We stay sharp and clear
7From the burning sun to the freezing rain
8We stay durable and staunch
9From one battlefield to another
10We stay loyal and faithful

11Even the strongest warrior might face a rough going
12Even the strongest steed might get injured and fall
13Even the strongest shield might batter and break

14But our strong spirits will never yield

15No one can choose to be a hero

16but those who chose to fight for justice

17shall be long remembered

--I don't think "hew" is quite the word in line 2.
--Perhaps you mean something more like "from border to border" or "from head to toes" in line 3? I think what you are trying to get across there is that "we will stay noble and true (forever) in every aspect"...
--Are you going to be reading this in the vid or displaying it as text? If it is text, you'll want correct capitalization and punctuation.
--"clairvoyant" might work nicely in line 6.
--I think "stalwart" would be a better word than "durable" in line 8.
--You probably repeated "strongest" in lines 11-13 on purpose, but in line 14 maybe use "indomitable" instead of "strong". "Unyielding" would work as well.
--How about this for lines 15-17: "Fate chooses heroes, but those who fight for justice shall be remembered forever". Maybe "forever" implies to long a time, though.

 

[Max.Pain]

Do you want rhyme or rythm to it? I assume you are asking for someone to re-write the lines in a more english-friendly way, but do want it to have any special ring?
EDIT:

1When we chose to be knights
2We chose to hew to the knights' principle

3From the capital to the border area
4We stay noble and true
5From dawn to dusk
6We stay sharp and clear
7From the burning sun to the freezing rain
8We stay durable and staunch
9From one battlefield to another
10We stay loyal and faithful

11Even the strongest warrior might face a rough going
12Even the strongest steed might get injured and fall
13Even the strongest shield might batter and break

14But our strong spirits will never yield

15No one can choose to be a hero

16but those who chose to fight for justice

17shall be long remembered

--I don't think "hew" is quite the word in line 2.
--Perhaps you mean something more like "from border to border" or "from head to toes" in line 3? I think what you are trying to get across there is that "we will stay noble and true (forever) in every aspect"...
--Are you going to be reading this in the vid or displaying it as text? If it is text, you'll want correct capitalization and punctuation.
--"clairvoyant" might work nicely in line 6.
--I think "stalwart" would be a better word than "durable" in line 8.
--You probably repeated "strongest" in lines 11-13 on purpose, but in line 14 maybe use "indomitable" instead of "strong". "Unyielding" would work as well.
--How about this for lines 15-17: "Fate chooses heroes, but those who fight for justice shall be remembered forever". Maybe "forever" implies to long a time, though.

Thanks for your advice . My Engish skill is pretty awkward , so I guess I can't expect rythme or something . Last time I made a video full of grammar mistakes and awkward expressions , so I can just hope to make less this time And as a result , reading these would be impossible for me , so make them substitles will be my only choice .

 

[Gregor Eisenhorn]

Thanks for your advice . My Engish skill is pretty awkward , so I guess I can't expect rythme or something . Last time I made a video full of grammar mistakes and awkward expressions , so I can just hope to make less this time And as a result , reading these would be impossible for me , so make them substitles will be my only choice .

Meh. It was just a couple minute's thinking. I love any kind of writing or verse.

With punctuation and some suggestions (parenthesis mine) :
When we chose to be knights, we took/swore an oath.
From border to border (I don't like how that sounds, but I'm tired), we stay noble and true (tense change=bad?).
From dawn to dusk, we stay clairvoyant (maybe it doesn't sound good...) and sharp.
From the blistering/searing sun to the freezing rain, we stay stalwart and dependable.
From one battlefield to the next, we stay loyal and faithful.

Even the strongest warrior might face defeat (defeasance?).
Even the strongest steed might stagger and collapse/fall.
Even the strongest shield might splinter and shatter.
But our indomitable spirits shall never yield.

Fate may choose heroes, but those who fight for Justice (capitalized just for the effect) shall be long remembered/remembered forever/remembered by their children's children.

How dramatic do you want it to be? Will you show a warrior falling at the "failure" part, or will you have just text & music?

 

[Max.Pain]

Thanks for your advice . My Engish skill is pretty awkward , so I guess I can't expect rythme or something . Last time I made a video full of grammar mistakes and awkward expressions , so I can just hope to make less this time And as a result , reading these would be impossible for me , so make them substitles will be my only choice .

Meh. It was just a couple minute's thinking. I love any kind of writing or verse.

With punctuation and some suggestions (parenthesis mine) :
When we chose to be knights, we took/swore an oath.
From border to border (I don't like how that sounds, but I'm tired), we stay noble and true (tense change=bad?).
From dawn to dusk, we stay clairvoyant (maybe it doesn't sound good...) and sharp.
From the blistering/searing sun to the freezing rain, we stay stalwart and dependable.
From one battlefield to the next, we stay loyal and faithful.

Even the strongest warrior might face defeat (defeasance?).
Even the strongest steed might stagger and collapse/fall.
Even the strongest shield might splinter and shatter.
But our indomitable spirits shall never yield.

Fate may choose heroes, but those who fight for Justice (capitalized just for the effect) shall be long remembered/remembered forever/remembered by their children's children.

How dramatic do you want it to be? Will you show a warrior falling at the "failure" part, or will you have just text & music?

This is amazing ! It's just what I'm looking for ! Thank you very much !
BTW : I won't show a warrior falling , because if the main actor is dead then the video will just come to an end  So i decided to make a scene that one lonely knight overwhelmed by dozens of dark knights .

 

[Gregor Eisenhorn]

Oh...a vid using M&B...why didn't I think of that...Doh! It's in general discussion, not off-topic! I'm going to bed..
You're welcome.

 

[Max.Pain]

Oh...a vid using M&B...why didn't I think of that...Doh! It's in general discussion, not off-topic! I'm going to bed..
You're welcome.

  If I'm not making the video with M&B ... then why am I posting it here ? Anyway , thank you very much , that's awesome . And BTW , Good night (?)