If you didn't come out of Covid with a new gender...

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Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
What were you even doing for the last two years!?

Sup, *****es?

(kicks name-change to make it run faster)
 

Adorno

Bedroom Assassin
Archduke
WBNWM&BVC
I you hadn't been here as long as I have, I would have reported this as a spam bot.
 

Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
? I've always BEEN a spam bot. Just hard to pick 'em out in a room full of soaped-up homosexuals! ?
 

Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
Hah! I evaded the CRUSHING need to down a bottle of GABA inhibitors AND transed my gender! All with the executive function of a comatose potato.
 

Orion

Still Not Worthy
Global Moderator
M&BWBWF&SNW
I you hadn't been here as long as I have, I would have reported this as a spam bot.
Check the custom title. You can figure out who this is easily enough, I think.

I see we've gone from one difficult-to-pronounce (for us Americans, anyhow) Irish name to another!
 

Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
Check the custom title. You can figure out who this is easily enough, I think.

I see we've gone from one difficult-to-pronounce (for us Americans, anyhow) Irish name to another!
My name wasn't changed when he posted, so it was pretty clear. :wink:

And it's roe-SHEEN
 

Seff

Cool Hand Luke
Duke
M&BWB
I was so confused, for a solid minute.

Looking good, Róisin.

Can you still soap up?
 
I somehow managed to lose over 1/5th of my weight since this whole ****show started, so I have that going for me.

Whether it's some disease slowly eating up my body remains to be seen.
 

Mad Vader

Duhpressed
Duke
M&BWB
I think it may be time to have someone look there!
lololol

I got fat for the first time in my life, but also need to network with people whose idea of fun is going to good eateries. It's a conundrum - live long OR prosper?

@Róisín How did you decide to become a desert rose?
 

Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
Not sure if you're talking about my name or transition. XD If the former: It's another ancient name for SCA purposes. If the latter, I was a walking, talking "tHey'Re wEre nO SigNz!!" meme.
 

Mad Vader

Duhpressed
Duke
M&BWB
Not sure if you're talking about my name or transition. XD If the former: It's another ancient name for SCA purposes. If the latter, I was a walking, talking "tHey'Re wEre nO SigNz!!" meme.
I'm genuinely interested in the decision making for transition, because personally I wouldn't make that decision and rather stay as a feminine gay. The hate the trans are taking is enormous and you are probably reduced to a small circle for safe social interactions. I also don't like operations that are irreversible, because there's always some small chance you may change your mind later.
Obviously, I don't have an experience of gender dysphoria to be able to imagine how strongly that messes up with my mental health and how transitioning is reducing or resolving this.

Now I'm sure Monty can point me to some community resource that reads a bit like propaganda, but that's not what I'm after, because reality is not what activism says it is.

(I'm not some anti-trans troll if it's not obvious.)
 

Róisín

Weaponsmith
Grandmaster Knight
WB
(It's obvious. Or rather, the actual trolls are super ****ing obvious. Transphobic trolls think they're being smart, but they're about as subtle as anti-vaxxers or militant vegans or people trying to get you into MLMs. Just the way they phrase things and the perspective their "questions" come from is pretty transparent.)

The decision process is a matter of reaching a point where you're not willing to pretend for the sake of others anymore. Being seen as male all my life was a mask I wore, a shield I hid behind. Ftr, I'm also Autistic and have ADHD, so "masking" is something that comes really easily to me. In fact, being trans wasn't even the mask that caused me the most pain and grief. Assuming you're cis (not sure if "rather stay as a feminine gay" was hypothetical or personal), it would be easier to stay as an effeminate man because you ARE a man. Imagine you were expected by everyone in society to live as a masculine woman. Like, if you woke up in a sex-swapped body, would you just accept what society perceives you as now and feel fine in a socio-normative female role? Or would it feel wrong and would you need to learn to just "play the role" just to keep intolerant people from being hateful towards you for not being what they expect? And how long could you live like that and just bite your tongue every time someone completely misjudges you and makes erroneous assumptions about you?

If you've ever worked retail, imagine having to live your entire life as your customer-service persona. Then on top of that, throw in some body dysmorphia so that you cringe and feel gross every time you see yourself in the mirror and that's kinda how it feels to live with dysphoria. Although for many trans people, the dysmorphia is buried so deep, all they ever feel is the euphoria that comes from it being GONE. Gender euphoria is ****ing amazing!

About the hate, there's a lot of VOCAL hate today, but transphobia in general is WAY down from 20 or even just 10 years ago. The feminism of the 90's and 00's was completely terfy and drove me away from progressive and queer circles for a long time. The truth is, most people just don't really care anymore. And as more and more people walk away from the "you're perverted and evil" camp, the people left in that camp are getting more desperate, loud, and whiny. It sucks that they make life less safe in the short term, but in the long run their behaviour will simply show them for the sad trolls they are. Also, I'm in one of the most progressive cities in the world, so things are relatively smooth on that front. I'm actually on gov't assistance atm, working towards permanent disability status, so I get a lot of food from the food bank, which is an evangelical organization, and even the people there are considerate and always use my preferred name and pronouns.

Also, gender-confirmation surgery is not a mandatory part of transition. Many people do, some can't for various reasons, and some choose not to. It's really no one's business any more than random strangers asking if you're circumcised or whether you trim or shave.

What I really want to hear is your perspective on the "propaganda". Like, if you find some, share it and then tell me how you perceive it.
 

Mad Vader

Duhpressed
Duke
M&BWB
Thanks for the answer, that's what I'm curious about, genuine personal experience.
What I really want to hear is your perspective on the "propaganda". Like, if you find some, share it and then tell me how you perceive it.
I don't have an example of activist "propaganda" and it would be dishonest of me if I googled some worst case and presented it here.
What I would term as objectionable activism would be a rigidly positive take on transitioning without any caveats, probably formulated in a righteous identity politics language that allows no dissent. This is of course a problem with ANY activism, it's one-sided almost by definition.
Reality is always more messy and if I wanted to hear a factual summary, I would ask a doctor or a psychologist. I fear quality information is hard to find in the middle of a culture war on social media.
 

eddiemccandless

Knight at Arms
WBNWVC
(It's obvious. Or rather, the actual trolls are super ****ing obvious. Transphobic trolls think they're being smart, but they're about as subtle as anti-vaxxers or militant vegans or people trying to get you into MLMs. Just the way they phrase things and the perspective their "questions" come from is pretty transparent.)

The decision process is a matter of reaching a point where you're not willing to pretend for the sake of others anymore. Being seen as male all my life was a mask I wore, a shield I hid behind. Ftr, I'm also Autistic and have ADHD, so "masking" is something that comes really easily to me. In fact, being trans wasn't even the mask that caused me the most pain and grief. Assuming you're cis (not sure if "rather stay as a feminine gay" was hypothetical or personal), it would be easier to stay as an effeminate man because you ARE a man. Imagine you were expected by everyone in society to live as a masculine woman. Like, if you woke up in a sex-swapped body, would you just accept what society perceives you as now and feel fine in a socio-normative female role? Or would it feel wrong and would you need to learn to just "play the role" just to keep intolerant people from being hateful towards you for not being what they expect? And how long could you live like that and just bite your tongue every time someone completely misjudges you and makes erroneous assumptions about you?

If you've ever worked retail, imagine having to live your entire life as your customer-service persona. Then on top of that, throw in some body dysmorphia so that you cringe and feel gross every time you see yourself in the mirror and that's kinda how it feels to live with dysphoria. Although for many trans people, the dysmorphia is buried so deep, all they ever feel is the euphoria that comes from it being GONE. Gender euphoria is ****ing amazing!

About the hate, there's a lot of VOCAL hate today, but transphobia in general is WAY down from 20 or even just 10 years ago. The feminism of the 90's and 00's was completely terfy and drove me away from progressive and queer circles for a long time. The truth is, most people just don't really care anymore. And as more and more people walk away from the "you're perverted and evil" camp, the people left in that camp are getting more desperate, loud, and whiny. It sucks that they make life less safe in the short term, but in the long run their behaviour will simply show them for the sad trolls they are. Also, I'm in one of the most progressive cities in the world, so things are relatively smooth on that front. I'm actually on gov't assistance atm, working towards permanent disability status, so I get a lot of food from the food bank, which is an evangelical organization, and even the people there are considerate and always use my preferred name and pronouns.

Also, gender-confirmation surgery is not a mandatory part of transition. Many people do, some can't for various reasons, and some choose not to. It's really no one's business any more than random strangers asking if you're circumcised or whether you trim or shave.

What I really want to hear is your perspective on the "propaganda". Like, if you find some, share it and then tell me how you perceive it.
This was one of the most beautiful explanations I have ever seen of this. My wife worked retail for years and it was soul destroying so I can definitely relate to that one. Thank you for sharing.

I find the pronoun thing difficult sometimes, and not because I don't want to do it right, but because I really get tripped by the less common variations. Doesn't help that English is not my first language and that I was not exposed to any of that until recently.
 
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