I married Ira on my first save and had no problems, on my 2nd bug free save i married another one, and progressed on the story (my prev save got massivly bugged at the story) been soon 200 days and i have not seen or heard anything from my brother...
Use developer console from nexus mods.
And then type this: "campaign.marry_player_with_hero ira" (no quotes) then you'll be married to her, happened this to me too.
Thought maybe feels like cheating cause you don't pay anything
Hope im not too late hehe xd.