how to handle this?

[Temujin]

OK, I have this buddy, he's in my class and he's kind of depressed, Manic depression and he claims to have adhd and he claims to be autistic, I'm quite sure he's lying about the last 2 but I'm convinced he's a manic depressed person.

annyway the problem is this, one of his problems is that he is constantly on the lookout for a relationship and falls in love with allmost every woman/ girl he sees and besides that he seems obsessed with annything that has to do with sex, It's impossible to have a conversation with this guy without him somehow relating it to sex. (wich is quite annoying really). annyway at one point we and some other people went out, and at the club I was talking to a girl I had spoken to before and exchanged numbres with, and as soon as I left to talk to some friends he started talking to her and later came to me saying, ooooooooh I'm soo in love with her for such a long time now..

My reaction inside was: you bloody bastard there isn't a woman on the planet you are NOT in love with! I like her and I saw her before you! piss off damnit! get some psychological help you obsessed pervert!

but since I know that actually saying this to him would either make him start talking behind my back about me to annyone I know, or make him fall deeper into a depression, I simply told him: be carefull, she's a player you don't want her, trust me.

The problem is tough right now, that he doesn't seem to listen to my warning and keeps going for her and the other 6 girls he's in love with.

so, if anny of you where in my situation, how would you handle this?

 

[okiN]

I'd have him committed.

 

[Temujin]

no, seriously, annything I do might stuff him deeper into his depression and I don't want to be responsible for his misery

 

[malenn]

I got some friends like that to.

It sucks i know and especially if you think they are depressed and you don’t want him to go over the "edge" and do something stupid. But sometimes its the best you can do really is take it up with him piece by piece don’t dump all of the stuff on him at once, Do it casual when speaking about something ells bring the girl up and start talking about her and say you like her to. And some other time maybe talk to him about his sex obsession mayby when he comment some woman on the TV you just say “that is wary annoying when you bring up girls **insert dirty word here** all the time people don’t like that”

But as always if nothing works do it the hard way sitt down ad talk or yust scream at him I screamed on one of my friends because he was talking **** like I,m going to kill my self yada yada and so fort. I screamed at him “think of your family think of your friends they like your sorry ugly stupid ass and would miss you and no mother or father wants to se there kid feel bad” I yelled and shouted at him for almost a quarter of an hour. (I am bigger than him and had him pushed against the wall and did it two centimiters from his face) It was quite acward between us for almost two months then we started to se etch other again and he actually thanked me.

I had some issues myself when I was in the mid teens to so I know some of the stuff that happens.

 

[Archonsod]

Advise him to seek professional help?

It depends. A lot of people like to claim these kinds of things as a way to get attention, especially among younger age groups. If you think it is a real problem, then you really need to convince him to seek help from a councillor or even his doctor. If not, then its something he'll need to learn to deal with. Sorry, but thats life.

As for the lady, forge ahead as you usually would. If she's interested in you and not him that isn't your problem, it's her descision to make. Best thing you can say to him is to explain the situation. Tell him to try for her if he wants, but you're going to try too. What he does then is entirely up to him.

Been in this situation a few times, but I need to be careful what I say as the missus is sitting behind me . Basically it all comes down to emotional maturity. If your good friends, and both are mature theres no reason for it to become a point of conflict. She'll make her own descision, and theres not a lot either of you can do about that. If he's going to have a problem with it, then perhaps he isn't as good a friend as you like to think.

 

[pzler]

get him some help.
or beat the **** out of him

really, people like that piss me of. claiming to have all kinds of disseases just to get attantion is insulting to people who really do have it. it's just as bad as rape victims who are confronted with people who make up rape stories to get attention. that's just sick stuff to do.

and why would you care if he starts talking about you

 

[Volkier]

Insure him in your name... Then depress him even more and make his death look like an accident so you can get the insurance money.

Seriously speaking though, he should grow up out of it. If not anything, its his life, he should realise how he wants to live it on his own. If you are his good friend, have yourself for him to fall back on, but at the same time don't protect him and let life give him a nice hard smack :

He would either snap out of it, or become a convicted drug addict / serial rapist. You can advise, but you gotta let him choose his own path ::\

 

[Ryuta]

By the way, is he successful with woman? He sounds like 'James bond' type to me. As shallow as a dish and any woman would get bored soon.

Anyway, I'll ignore him and go ahead with her. Like Archonsod said, that's her choice, not his. If he annoys you, you should tell him straight away. Will he kill himself? I doubt it (of course you know him better than me so it's my vague impression).

Just wonder what'll happen if you gather all those six girls at one place with him....

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

OK, I have this buddy, he's in my class and he's kind of depressed, Manic depression and he claims to have adhd and he claims to be autistic, I'm quite sure he's lying about the last 2 but I'm convinced he's a manic depressed person.

Tell him he's probably a hypochondriac.

annyway the problem is this, one of his problems is that he is constantly on the lookout for a relationship and falls in love with allmost every woman/ girl he sees and besides that he seems obsessed with annything that has to do with sex, It's impossible to have a conversation with this guy without him somehow relating it to sex. (wich is quite annoying really).

And a nymphomaniac

annyway at one point we and some other people went out, and at the club I was talking to a girl I had spoken to before and exchanged numbres with, and as soon as I left to talk to some friends he started talking to her and later came to me saying, ooooooooh I'm soo in love with her for such a long time now..

My reaction inside was: you bloody bastard there isn't a woman on the planet you are NOT in love with! I like her and I saw her before you! piss off damnit! get some psychological help you obsessed pervert!

I suggest you set up a screening process for future friends. That way, none of the crazies will get by.

but since I know that actually saying this to him would either make him start talking behind my back about me to annyone I know, or make him fall deeper into a depression, I simply told him: be carefull, she's a player you don't want her, trust me.

Smoooooooth. Real smooth.

You didn't want him to talk about you behind your back, so instead you told him that the girl is practically a whore, behind her back.

Am I the only one noticing this awesome paradox?

The problem is tough right now, that he doesn't seem to listen to my warning and keeps going for her and the other 6 girls he's in love with.

so, if anny of you where in my situation, how would you handle this?

Tell him the truth; that he sucks. Don't coddle him, but don't be harsher than you need be. And remember, it isn't YOUR fault if he gets depressed and tries to kill himself.

Advise him to seek medical advice about his depression too. Manic depression IS an actual illness.

 

[okiN]

Llandy, why have you deserted us on IRC?

That goes for Morbo as well, wherever he is.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

Llandy, why have you deserted us on IRC?

That goes for Morbo as well, wherever he is.

Because 90% of the conversation was in Finnish, and 90% of my conversations were with Morbo, who frequents another IRC channel with me anyway.

And Quaknet gave me cooties.

 

[okiN]

That's a bit harsh. I'd say 70% on both, tops.

 

[Kelpo]

Still, quakenet does give cooties, there's no denying that.

 

[okiN]

Agreed, that's a fair cop.

 

[Thingy Master]

OK, I have this buddy, he's in my class and he's kind of depressed, Manic depression and he claims to have adhd and he claims to be autistic, I'm quite sure he's lying about the last 2 but I'm convinced he's a manic depressed person.

First off the defenition of Manic depression (aka bipolar)

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorderthat causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function.Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptomsof bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poorjob or school performance, and even suicide.

Ask him if he's on proper medication. Bipolar can be quite severe and can ruins peoples lifes if they dont have meds. I myself have Bipolar as well as my sister, and withought our medication the depresion can get so severe we'll become suicidal. I'm not saying that medication is the cure but it helps, he also needs psyciatric help.
Dont be suprised if he says "I dont need/want meds" becouse many people with Bipolar will live with depression just for the mania. It could even be more severe than you know also, many people have mania out in public and are just percieved to be hyper/annoying/adhd/ect.. but once they get home become increadible depressed.
Though he might not have Autism he probably has a learning dissability, many people with phyciactric propblems do.

annyway the problem is this, one of his problems is that he is constantly on the lookout for a relationship and falls in love with allmost every woman/ girl he sees and besides that he seems obsessed with annything that has to do with sex, It's impossible to have a conversation with this guy without him somehow relating it to sex.

Great want for a relationship and quick love could also point to being around a abusive female. For instance say his sister/mom/aunt verbaly/physicly abused him all his life he would be desperate for a good relationship with a woman (aka girlfriend) and would quickly fall in love with anyone who he thinks he might have a chance with. The obsesion with sex could come from being sexualy abused. I could try to explane how that works but it would take far to mutch time and is quite difficult to explane.

annyway at one point we and some other people went out, and at the club I was talking to a girl I had spoken to before and exchanged numbres with, and as soon as I left to talk to some friends he started talking to her and later came to me saying, ooooooooh I'm soo in love with her for such a long time now..

Nothing mutch to this, Mainly jelousy.

Summary: Meds, therarpy, and tell him to stay away from your girl.

Note: Most of this stuff is from personal experiance and I could be way off. Just consider it. Exept about the meds and therapy, anyone thats depressed needs those.

 

[Phoboshobo]

^Good advice.

Sorry mate, I think he's going to get in trouble at some point if he goes on like this. If he's letching at a girl in a club and her boyfriend gets involved...

He doesnt see there's a problem with what he's doing because he's either mentally ill or he's got something like a form of autism. Try and get him help hand-in-hand with his family, but you cant 'cure' him by talking to him yourself so dont stress yourself.

There was a guy at my college who used to sit next to girls (strangers) in the canteen. He used to put his arm round them and sometimes try and kiss them saying "your my girlfriend now". Im sad to say he got a beating from some d!ckhead pikeys. Turns out he had some sort of learning difficulties.

 

[Archonsod]

He used to put his arm round them and sometimes try and kiss them saying "your my girlfriend now".

He didn't call them Dave too, did he?

 

[guspav]

if he's a good friend of yours you could just tell him somethinhg like: "Come on, mate, that's the one I like, you have another 5 to choose from, leave this one to me, please, don't be an arse" if he truly is your mate he'll understand, if not, to hell with him

 

[Pavlov]

I'd get that boy a hooker and another hooker.

 

[Thingy Master]

I'd get that boy a hooker and another hooker.

Yes but there are some of us who dont **** money, or have the bad habit of not entertaining the idea of STDs from cheap ones.

Abit of advice I left out. Aim low, you cant be dissapointed if you never hoped. =P