How do you use toilet paper?

[Yeomann]

Lovely question, isn't it?
I read a book about living in a flat, and stuff about toilet paper came up.

 

[Xekez]

Leaves are useful.

 

[Yeomann]

Was just thinking about that

 

[Seff]

You'll have to do better than this to make a depraved topic, boy-o.

Understand:
http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,18285.0.html

 

[Weren]

Hmm. Isnt it strange that i've never wondered about this marvellous question?

Yea, i fold it.

 

[Varric]

You'll have to do better than this to make a depraved topic, boy-o.

Understand:
http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,18285.0.html

That topic is overfilled with win.

 

[Cleaning agent]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?

 

[Dudro]

WTF?  Feel, man!  It's all about the feel.

I use about 7-10 little squares, folded.

 

[arbites_augmented]

You must be really flexible.

 

[Almalexia]

You'll have to do better than this to make a depraved topic, boy-o.

Understand:
http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,18285.0.html

That was possibly the most hilarious thread I have EVER read. Poop jokes for the win!

 

[Varric]

Whenever I **** it's clean, so it's like one oval matter straight out, which leads me to round 4 sheets of toilet paper, and I fold, if I scrumpled mine I'd probably get some **** on my hands as well.

 

[Selothi]

Scrumple. 'Nuff said.

 

[Ilex]

I usually just scrape away it with my fingers and wash my hands. Saves paper & money.

 

[James]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?

Smell and taste.

 

[pesja]

I don't care for toilet paper, I use poor people.

 

[Cleaning agent]

I use your mother's tongue.

 

[pesja]

So did I for a while, until I found out about the places it had been.

 

[Redcoat-Mic]

This is entirely relative the **** you have.

For instance if it's just a quick fire run of the mill ****, scrumple it up, rub it on in there and bobs your uncle.

But recently I've been having these ****s where my ass stops pushing far too early, so I'm left with half a log of **** hanging lamely out of my arse, like some kind of retarded dog you'd so.

So I prepare a big tank of toilet roll, smash it out of there, but then ****s all over and so I have to wipe a load, making sure to prepare a toilet roll hand guard to avoid any getting on me. And after the ordeal is done, I fold and make some finishing touches, making sure the hole is completely free of ****.

 

[Cleaning agent]

I have found the solution to the "hanging ****s" problem. Get a wad of toilet paper and press at the base of your ass (the part furthest away from your genitals) it gives you extra pushing power, and although I don't know why, it means I can avoid "cutting" on almost all but the most stubborn ****s, meaning less splashback, less wiping and a more satisfying crap.

 

[Selothi]

... I just push hard, and it comes out.

LO AND BEHOLD MY AWESOME RECTAL POWERS !!!