High School & Friends

[Chewbacca]

Welp. I ****ed up. Last year my parents divorced, I got depressed, a really close friend died, skipped a lot of classes, ****ed up my exams because I didn't give a **** anymore, and now here I am retaking Grade 10 (I am 17 now). All my friends passed to Grade 11, and I am still stuck in Grade 10. It isn't that I can't make friends with people from my new class, I just don't see why I should become friends with any of them. I don't share the same interests, they think too much of themselves, and they are really not my type of friends.

Every class I am sitting alone in the back of the classroom, and I am bored out of my mind. I have no-one to talk to because I don't like any of my classmates anyway, and group work is ****ing torture because then I have to deal with working with those idiots. I only see my friends maybe once or twice a day, and that's during lunchbreak. I know this is going to sound really edgy but I can't stand the stupidity and ignorance of my new class mates. They also tend to criticize everything.

So, that pretty much sums it up. I don't have friends in my classes anymore, feel lonely as **** and I am bored out of my mind during classes.

Only thinking about the fact that
1. my friends will be gone in two years, meaning that I have to spend one year alone at school with no friends AT all
2. I am stuck for three years with the same idiots I am stuck in now

makes me ****ing depressed.

So, anyone to give me advice or share their stories?

 

[bgfan]

If you live in the U.S. I know that you can take Summer courses to get caught up with your friends, and graduate next year.

 

[Chewbacca]

Nope, I live in Holland. Wish I could though.

 

[Adorno]

When you're sad you don't have the energy to interact with other people/make friends.
Sounds like a natural process of grief after the death of a friend and parents' divorce.
Everything can seem meaningless, and that feels like being bored.

Most schools have counselors, and you certainly fulfill the criteria.
Would be good if you could talk to someone who's impartial.
Counselors don't work miracles, but just talking can do a lot.

 

[Mage246]

Also sounds like you're being too judgy. I bet your current friends took some getting used to, too. Or you were just as bad as them, so you didn't notice.

 

[RalliX]

I am also 17.
I do not attend any public or private school.
I educate myself at home. When I am 18, I will take a 12th grade equivalency test, and they'll give me a piece of paper which says I am educated to their standards.

A rather unique experience, I suppose. I don't know how to compare it to your situation because I never went to a day of public school which I remember learning in.

My family moves to drastically distant locations semi-regularly.
About every three years of my life I have lived in a new place.

I was born here in Nova Scotia, then we moved to Kingston, then Toronto, then to a place called Rosneath Landing, Ontario. After that, I lived in Virginia, then Scotland, and then here again.
I've been playing videogames as far back as I can recall. They never did me too much good.
Where and what would I be without having sunk probably over ten thousand hours into them over twelve years?

Jesus, I'd probably have a life.

Now I'm behind on my learning. Physically, I'm much weaker than what I could be.
Perhaps the health of my mind has also decreased.

Recently I've been shaping up a bit, and think I've begun to get an understanding of what hard work is.

Tell me, Chewy.
Do you have any other kind of social outlet besides school and the internet?
There's more outside the walls. I have found other ways of meeting and associating with people my age, despite myself not attending a school.
Perhaps I don't feel so lonely, because I have a real friend in my brother. My family is strong.

You yourself know why you're depressed and angry.
You're alone. Your parents do not love each other, your friends have become less accessible.

You can only love to the extent which you are loved.

This is a core part of my philosophy: That there are two things which people name love.
Sexual desire, and caring.

One is the image of a physical feeling, one which is temporary and without thought of a lasting future. Satisfaction of a want. A genie which gives you a wish and then leaves.

The other is by necessity the concern of what will happen to a person, and the actions which can be done to assure his/her well-being. The height of this is the point where you would give your life for this person, if asked.

Which of these is love? The latter I say.

Find someone who you can share that real love with.
"Fear leads to anger, anger to hate, hate to suffering."
"You don't hate; only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural."
And what is the opposite of Hate? That too will lead to the opposite of suffering.

 

[bgfan]

I tell you what, getting a job can be a great way to get your life back on track. Assuming you don't have one. Anyway, is there any way you can take summer courses or something?

 

[Austupaio]

I don't know about Holland, but a HSD equivalent is not an easy thing to get a job in the States, speaking from experience. Even my excellent ASVAB scores were meaningless because the clueless HR people I was interviewed by didn't know what an ASVAB was.

Mostly it was some bull**** about how not going to high school was a 'sign of instability'.

 

[Kobrag]

I had 'issues' and didn't like most of my year, let alone my class.

So most of my friends were several years below me, who stuck around me due to rumours of me performing dentistry on a know bully with a toilet bowl.

College (closing years of US highschool for you oer the pond) was slightly better, spent it getting drunk with some new friends in a pub who's owner had loose morals and shortly alienated them as well.

And frankly, your School failed you Chewie, they should have taken your problems into account and delayed your tests or whatever.
It;s what you can appeal to have happen here.

 

[Adorno]

And frankly, your School failed you Chewie.

Good point. Would be nice to  know what has actually been done at the school about your problems.
Anyone - ANYONE - who has gone through what you have can be expected to have problems socially and emotionally.

Also sounds like you're being too judgy. I bet your current friends took some getting used to, too. Or you were just as bad as them, so you didn't notice.

When you're very hurt/sad it's easy to project anger onto other people, so everyone you don't know is an idiot.
But in this case you're  surrounded by teenagers, so that feeling might be totally rational (joking... a little).

 

[Mad Vader]

But in this case you're  surrounded by teenagers, so that feeling might be totally rational (joking... a little).

I doubt many people want to go back to high school. 'Tis a time of hormones, mood swings and idiocy. There's a reason why they let you vote only after high school in most countries.

 

[El Perro Finlandese]

Big ****ing deal. I spent almost all my time in vocational school (3 years) without friends and barely speaking to anyone.

 

[Cookie Eating Huskarl]

Mostly it was some bull**** about how not going to high school was a 'sign of instability'.

Were they playing the 'redneck murican' card?

Big ****ing deal. I spent almost all my time in vocational school (3 years) without friends and barely speaking to anyone.

And here we have the prime example of a miserable person who doesn't have friends.

There's a reason why they let you vote only after high school in most countries.

Round here it's to make sure you had at least 11 years of nationalistic brainwashing before you are allowed to vote.

Edit : Gaaah, browser kept ****ing up my edits.

 

[BenKenobi]

I doubt many people want to go back to high school. 'Tis a time of hormones, mood swings and idiocy. There's a reason why they let you vote only after high school in most countries.

No responsibilities, anything connected with grades is meaningless (but you find that out just when you leave the school), no need to do any work home, you can act like an idiot - people expect it, and nearly everything is paid for by the parents. I would take it. Gladly.

 

[kurczak]

So, anyone to give me advice or share their stories?

Seek professional help. Choose the therapist carefully, based on references if possible.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

I doubt many people want to go back to high school. 'Tis a time of hormones, mood swings and idiocy. There's a reason why they let you vote only after high school in most countries.

No responsibilities, anything connected with grades is meaningless (but you find that out just when you leave the school), no need to do any work home, you can act like an idiot - people expect it, and nearly everything is paid for by the parents. I would take it. Gladly.

Not to mention the insane amounts of free time. Hell yeah, I could do some proper gaming again, not have to pay bills, or work. It would be awesome.

 

[Amagic]

I tell you what, getting a job can be a great way to get your life back on track. Assuming you don't have one. Anyway, is there any way you can take summer courses or something?

I'm 18 myself and this is what I did. Started working part-time at a job that I came to greatly enjoy, met some fantastic workmates and felt like I was doing something useful. It is nothing instantly lifechanging, but it gave me focus, time to think and time to deal with all the bull**** in my head.

It's not a solution, but it's a good step towards one.

 

[dinnerdog2zero]

I really feel for you Chewbacca, parents divorcing and the loss of a friend would be too much for me.

What are your plans for the future?

What kind of career do you want when you leave school?

My advice would be to have a goal and stick to it. Treat school as something you have to defeat to attain this goal. Its the way i cope.

My philosophy is that **** happens and it will happen to you. How you deal with it is the true test of your character. I like to think i'm pretty good at laughing off most things, but then again i'm only young and haven't had to deal with some of the things others have.

I've had a pretty easy life compared to many others but that's not to say i haven't had problems. I've had times when i just dont give a flying fudge about anything. There were times when i just wouldn't show up at school for a week and would spend the days wandering around the local bushland by myself because i didn't feel that i could put up with school.

I find physical training helps. Play a sport that involves plenty of physical exertion(Rugby or Football) or go to a Gym. Get fit and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Or at least i did.

Go out with your friends on the weekends if you dont see them at school. Where i live, Friday and Saturday nights involve all sorts of debauchery and excess. Of course such sins are not a good solution to problems and are best steered clear of, but i feel a lot better if i'm going to school on a monday with a hangover.

Maybe i'm just different like that

EDIT: Amagic's nailed it on the head so forget what i said.

 

[Bromden]

So, anyone to give me advice or share their stories?

I hated high school. Didn't have any real friends, just a buddy or two. I failed a year, and the next class were a different bunch of idiots. My real friends were neighbours and classmates from elementary school, and I switched to survival mode in high school just so I could be with friends in the afternoon. I hated every moment of it, but about 14 years later I don't mind anything about it. You just need to survive there for two more years, it ain't that hard. If you aren't planning to bite a bullet, you don't need professional help. You'll get through and over it eventually and you'll be free to change your life in any way you want. The first 18-22 years of Life: The Game is really just the tutorial level.

 

[kurczak]

I have to insist that powering through the divorce of parents and death of a close friend at this age which has already manifested itself in repeating a grade, inability to make friends and depression is a horrible, terrible idea that only invites more troubles. The strong, silent type only works in westerns from 50s.