great quotes
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Twinkies are basically the tools of Satan for making people fat, so when he and his minions invade the earth to pillage and murder, people will be unable to swiftly flee. Because they are fat and such, and we all know fat people run for like 2min and then have a stroke, a heart attack, and lunch all at the same time.
Sir Saladin
Count
I saw a really fat man run for about an hour and he didn't have a heart attack, I would say more but my lawyer advises me against it.
JohnathanStrange
Recruit
"If I'm chasing after some guy, and even if in the first second I close half the distance between me and him, then half that distance in the second second, then half that distance in the third second, I'm always going to be half some distance behind him, and I'll never catch him.
Which is why I have a gun."
And why I have a crossbow.
Which is why I have a gun."
And why I have a crossbow.
cucchulainnn
Recruit
These are from memory and may not be exact.
“If I am acting like a child and you sleep with me then that make you a pedophile and I don’t take advice from perverts.” Peter Griffin
“Next one of you Neanderthals touches me I’m gona blow his head off, this is my boom stick. It’s a Remington with hickory stock and blued barrel, it can be found in aisle 5 shop smart shop S Mart”
“Good, Bad I have the gun” Ash army of darkness
“The affections of women are written in water” Livy
“War needs to be hell or there would be no reason to end it” William T. Sherman
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!"
- Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
“If I am acting like a child and you sleep with me then that make you a pedophile and I don’t take advice from perverts.” Peter Griffin
“Next one of you Neanderthals touches me I’m gona blow his head off, this is my boom stick. It’s a Remington with hickory stock and blued barrel, it can be found in aisle 5 shop smart shop S Mart”
“Good, Bad I have the gun” Ash army of darkness
“The affections of women are written in water” Livy
“War needs to be hell or there would be no reason to end it” William T. Sherman
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!"
- Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
Can O Soup
Recruit
Not a quote, but a complaint about misquotes in Disney movies. Snow White? The prince never really kissed her. He wanted her and her coffin because he thought she would look good in his castle. She woke up when the coffin fell off the horse and dislodged the poisoned apple from her throat. She tells him the story about the evil queen. The prince invites the queen to a wedding without telling her whose it was. When she arrives she is put in red hot iron boots and made to dance until she dies. Damn you Disney, that would have been awesome to see. Sorry for the threadjack. I'll do a quote now.
"Knowledge is dangerous. Belief can be manipulated."- Frank Herbert.
Hope I got it right.
"Knowledge is dangerous. Belief can be manipulated."- Frank Herbert.
Hope I got it right.
Worbah
Grandmaster Knight
'I'm in this diner, I'm alone, and I'm reading a book. Then the waitress comes over to me and says "Whatcha reading for?". Isn't that the weirdest ****ing question ever? Not what am I reading, but what am I reading for? ****, I've never been asked that before. I guess I read for a lot of reasons, but the main one is... So I don't end up a ****ing waffel waitress! Yeah, that's pretty high on the list.' -Bill Hicks.
See I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all of your records,tapes and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know all those musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal ****ing high on drugs, man.
- Bill Hicks
What do atheists scream when they come?"
- Bill Hicks
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a ****in' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."
- Bill Hicks
Obnoxious , self-righteous, whining little ****s. My biggest fear is that if I quit smoking, I'll become one of you...Don't take that wrong. I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?.......Non-smokers die every day...Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurtling back to reality....You're dead too.
- Bill Hicks
Think of me as Chomsky with **** jokes.
- Bill Hicks
Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?
- Bill Hicks
When Jesus comes back to earth the last thing he wants to see is a cross.
- Bill Hicks
Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block record backwards, it actually sounds better.
- Bill Hicks
See I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all of your records,tapes and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know all those musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal ****ing high on drugs, man.
- Bill Hicks
What do atheists scream when they come?"
- Bill Hicks
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a ****in' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."
- Bill Hicks
Obnoxious , self-righteous, whining little ****s. My biggest fear is that if I quit smoking, I'll become one of you...Don't take that wrong. I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?.......Non-smokers die every day...Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurtling back to reality....You're dead too.
- Bill Hicks
Think of me as Chomsky with **** jokes.
- Bill Hicks
Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?
- Bill Hicks
When Jesus comes back to earth the last thing he wants to see is a cross.
- Bill Hicks
Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block record backwards, it actually sounds better.
- Bill Hicks
Sir Saladin
Count
Bill Hicks, I saw the cable biography otherwise I wouldn't know what you were typing about. Good crazy dude, Ok how about this "For he that flies may fight again,Which he can never do that's slain," Edgar Allan Poe.
Worbah
Grandmaster Knight
I found some great ones from Seppo Räty. Sadly, only the finns can appreciate these at the moment. I might translate some later on.
Lainauksia Seppo Rädyltä
"Vittuillakseni heilutin."
(Selitti iloista vilkuttelua Barcelonan palkintopallilla 1992.)
"Puoliväkisin olen juonut viiniä."
(IS:n haastattelussa ennen Barcelonaa.)
"Vapaa-aika kuluu korttia pelatessa ja kaljaa juodessa."
(Latautumisestaan Barcelonassa 1992.)
"Ooppera? Hyi saatana!"
(IS:n haastattelussa 1991.)
"Kai se jossain on."
(Räty hopeastaan mitalikahveilla. Hän joutui lainaamaan jousiammuntajoukkueen hopeamitalia kuvaukseen.)
"Saksa on paska maa."
(Pudottuaan MM-finaalista Stuttgartissa 1993.)
"Lepäilen tai ryyppään."
(Latautumisestaan ennen EM-kisoja Helsingissä 1994.)
"Iisalmesta saa parempaa."
(Arvostelee italialaisen kuohuviinin aromia EM-hopean jälkeen.)
"Viissataatonnia käteen ja keihäs lentää 100 metriä."
(Ennen Atlantan olympiakisoja kesällä 1996.)
"Joka toinen vuosi tuntuu menevän vanhalla miehellä perseelleen."
(Göteborgin MM-kisoissa 1995.)
"Atlantaan lähtiessä päätin, että en perkele puhu koko matkalla englannin sanaa - suomella on pärjättävä."
(Atlantan olympiamatkasta 1996.)
"Mikä perkeleen seura?"
(Rädyn ensimmäinen kommentti hänen kuultua Aleksis Kiven seurasta ja hänelle myönnetystä palkinnosta.)
"Jos viistoistavuotiasta sais."
(Räty eräässä radiohaastattelussa kysyttäessä seuraavan vuoden tavoitteista.)
"Tempaise niin että vittu repeää."
(Räty kannusti Heli Rantasta ennen naisten keihään finaalia.)
"Halvarin kanssa ollaan ajeltu autolla, kun on ollut niin kylmä."
(Räty kertoo valmentautumisesta Barcelonan kisoihin.)
"Ensin mä ainakin menen syömään."
(Räty kommentoi kun häneltä kysyttiin tulevaisuuden suunnitelmia hänen juuri voitettuaan kultamitalin.)
Lainauksia Seppo Rädyltä
"Vittuillakseni heilutin."
(Selitti iloista vilkuttelua Barcelonan palkintopallilla 1992.)
"Puoliväkisin olen juonut viiniä."
(IS:n haastattelussa ennen Barcelonaa.)
"Vapaa-aika kuluu korttia pelatessa ja kaljaa juodessa."
(Latautumisestaan Barcelonassa 1992.)
"Ooppera? Hyi saatana!"
(IS:n haastattelussa 1991.)
"Kai se jossain on."
(Räty hopeastaan mitalikahveilla. Hän joutui lainaamaan jousiammuntajoukkueen hopeamitalia kuvaukseen.)
"Saksa on paska maa."
(Pudottuaan MM-finaalista Stuttgartissa 1993.)
"Lepäilen tai ryyppään."
(Latautumisestaan ennen EM-kisoja Helsingissä 1994.)
"Iisalmesta saa parempaa."
(Arvostelee italialaisen kuohuviinin aromia EM-hopean jälkeen.)
"Viissataatonnia käteen ja keihäs lentää 100 metriä."
(Ennen Atlantan olympiakisoja kesällä 1996.)
"Joka toinen vuosi tuntuu menevän vanhalla miehellä perseelleen."
(Göteborgin MM-kisoissa 1995.)
"Atlantaan lähtiessä päätin, että en perkele puhu koko matkalla englannin sanaa - suomella on pärjättävä."
(Atlantan olympiamatkasta 1996.)
"Mikä perkeleen seura?"
(Rädyn ensimmäinen kommentti hänen kuultua Aleksis Kiven seurasta ja hänelle myönnetystä palkinnosta.)
"Jos viistoistavuotiasta sais."
(Räty eräässä radiohaastattelussa kysyttäessä seuraavan vuoden tavoitteista.)
"Tempaise niin että vittu repeää."
(Räty kannusti Heli Rantasta ennen naisten keihään finaalia.)
"Halvarin kanssa ollaan ajeltu autolla, kun on ollut niin kylmä."
(Räty kertoo valmentautumisesta Barcelonan kisoihin.)
"Ensin mä ainakin menen syömään."
(Räty kommentoi kun häneltä kysyttiin tulevaisuuden suunnitelmia hänen juuri voitettuaan kultamitalin.)
Rabid Potatoe
Master Knight
Beat this:
Combat
Battles in Mount&Blade require a hizzle degree of concentrizzles n user Involvizzle. A few powerful blows can takes you dizzay n there is no such thing As a Perpetratin' potion", therefore you miznust stay alert n parry or dodge each And every blizzay . Slap your mutha ****in self. This is difficult, but whizzen you enta a pitched battle against Five dizzy knights, n emerge as tha last dawg pimpin' you will kizzle thiznat you Deserve yo reputizzles as tha finest mother****a in Calradia . Snoop dogg is in this *****. - Gizoogle .com
and:
"Why have you forgot you're book?" - My French teacher - I DONT NEED A REASON TO FORGET MY BLOODY BOOK! DO YOU THINK I FORGOT IT ON PURPOSE? teachers NEED to have their IQ tested when they apply...
Combat
Battles in Mount&Blade require a hizzle degree of concentrizzles n user Involvizzle. A few powerful blows can takes you dizzay n there is no such thing As a Perpetratin' potion", therefore you miznust stay alert n parry or dodge each And every blizzay . Slap your mutha ****in self. This is difficult, but whizzen you enta a pitched battle against Five dizzy knights, n emerge as tha last dawg pimpin' you will kizzle thiznat you Deserve yo reputizzles as tha finest mother****a in Calradia . Snoop dogg is in this *****. - Gizoogle .com
and:
"Why have you forgot you're book?" - My French teacher - I DONT NEED A REASON TO FORGET MY BLOODY BOOK! DO YOU THINK I FORGOT IT ON PURPOSE? teachers NEED to have their IQ tested when they apply...
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