Future wife "were just not compatible"

[SyjelHelstein]

I messed up ONE charm dialogue last week before reading that this is apparently a permanent thing so I didn't save scum and now my save is bricked, console (PS4) got two patches recently so would it be too much to ask to add a timer to reset this or should I just start from scratch or idk I assumed changing traits could at least give me another chance?
Unrelated you can't search for Smith's via taverns either just noticed that today, luckily I found one already so I have one in the encyclopedia

 

[Tongueless Orvar]

I messed up ONE charm dialogue last week before reading that this is apparently a permanent thing so I didn't save scum and now my save is bricked, console (PS4) got two patches recently so would it be too much to ask to add a timer to reset this or should I just start from scratch or idk I assumed changing traits could at least give me another chance?
Unrelated you can't search for Smith's via taverns either just noticed that today, luckily I found one already so I have one in the encyclopedia

Find companions here: Thread 'Updated companion list'
https://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php?threads/updated-companion-list.461074/

I do not believe you can ever try again after failure. Next time just try and raise your charm a lot and get perks that help out persuasion.

 

[SyjelHelstein]

I don't intend on restarting but it has ruined my first playthrough. So it is unfixable, great

 

[Tongueless Orvar]

I don't intend on restarting but it has ruined my first playthrough. So it is unfixable, great

I’m just saying for your next try to marry

 

[SyjelHelstein]

Well I got god of the arena and tried corein and she's doing the same thing lmao.
This time I am however savescumming.

Had no problem on my friends playthrough I guess I'm cursed

 

[Zorion_no]

Well I got god of the arena and tried corein and she's doing the same thing lmao.
This time I am however savescumming.

Had no problem on my friends playthrough I guess I'm cursed

There is many underlying things though for the "persuasion".
1 attracted - some npc's will be attracted to your character and will be easier to persuade.
2 compatible stats, which is hidden from the player kind of. notice how they have traits, cruel, mercy, devious, honor, valor etc.
So if you are the opposite of theirs it dont help your case.
3 your social standing - clan rank, and also if you have a fief or not.
When you say are a rank 2, the women will "entertain you" but warn that you need to rise in rateing as they expect much - read court them longer, build up more relations with their clan, until you hit clan 3 for instance.
Should you actually own a fief - you only need to persuade them 2 times instead of the normal 3 for that final part.
4 relations between you and their clan, so if its good 10-15+ its much easier, now if its 30+ (where the clan leader see you as a friend) its even easier.

As for your problem with she rejecting you, you do know that isnt the end of it..?
Yes its true you cant ask her to marry you directly anymore, that door is closed.

But... talk to the clanleader ask for a marriage alliance, and if she is the oldest or next in line to be wed out - you'll get her!
Note that if you arrange the marriag through the clanleader, and dont have good relations with them, you will often have to pay a fortune - read 100k denars isnt out of the table.
But on the other hand the wife often brings with them armor, weapons etc that is worth 100k or more in some cases.

So no, your game isnt wasted if you can get her clanleaders approval..

 

[SyjelHelstein]

There is many underlying things though for the "persuasion".
1 attracted - some npc's will be attracted to your character and will be easier to persuade.
2 compatible stats, which is hidden from the player kind of. notice how they have traits, cruel, mercy, devious, honor, valor etc.
So if you are the opposite of theirs it dont help your case.
3 your social standing - clan rank, and also if you have a fief or not.
When you say are a rank 2, the women will "entertain you" but warn that you need to rise in rateing as they expect much - read court them longer, build up more relations with their clan, until you hit clan 3 for instance.
Should you actually own a fief - you only need to persuade them 2 times instead of the normal 3 for that final part.
4 relations between you and their clan, so if its good 10-15+ its much easier, now if its 30+ (where the clan leader see you as a friend) its even easier.

As for your problem with she rejecting you, you do know that isnt the end of it..?
Yes its true you cant ask her to marry you directly anymore, that door is closed.

But... talk to the clanleader ask for a marriage alliance, and if she is the oldest or next in line to be wed out - you'll get her!
Note that if you arrange the marriag through the clanleader, and dont have good relations with them, you will often have to pay a fortune - read 100k denars isnt out of the table.
But on the other hand the wife often brings with them armor, weapons etc that is worth 100k or more in some cases.

So no, your game isnt wasted if you can get her clanleaders approval..

I actually did know about the clan leader marriage option but monchug isn't offering the right daughter either so I kinda gave up on that, and CL wants more than I have from my smithing grind for corein so I can't afford that yet

I guess I should finish smithing and warpath my way to rank 3 and try some of these options, although I was hoping to form an independent kingdom without having to be a Merc for someone else first but it's still probably my optimal option

I noticed traits it seems to effect the dialogue chances rather than locking you out by itself but I only have Valor so I can't be sure

 

[Ananda_The_Destroyer]

I actually did know about the clan leader marriage option but monchug isn't offering the right daughter either so I kinda gave up on that, and CL wants more than I have from my smithing grind for corein so I can't afford that yet

I guess I should finish smithing and warpath my way to rank 3 and try some of these options, although I was hoping to form an independent kingdom without having to be a Merc for someone else first but it's still probably my optimal option

I noticed traits it seems to effect the dialogue chances rather than locking you out by itself but I only have Valor so I can't be sure

You really need to save your game before you try and if you fail, re-load and try again. If you fail no matter what you choose , load your game, move on the map a little, save and try again with different RNG. There's no perk or trait that will make it much easier, you have to save and brute force through it no matter what.

 

[Zorion_no]

You really need to save your game before you try and if you fail, re-load and try again. If you fail no matter what you choose , load your game, move on the map a little, save and try again with different RNG. There's no perk or trait that will make it much easier, you have to save and brute force through it no matter what.

Thats not entirely true though is it.

Perks do matter atleast from my experience.
Haveing the +10% persuaion perks etc do help.

Dont get me wrong I totally agree, save scum the **** out of the rolls.

But if you have all the things I listed above though in the post, I'm typically getting 100% to several of the picks, and thus will pass it without resorting to savescumming(not dissing savescumming as I'm the king of it!)

 

[SyjelHelstein]

I hate to be that guy but, the solution to a thing in a game should not be savescumming it's bad design no offense.

 

[JunKeteer]

I hate to be that guy but, the solution to a thing in a game should not be savescumming it's bad design no offense.

This whole game is rife with bad design choices and abandoned developments; join the party, offense away.

 

[murtega]

I actually did know about the clan leader marriage option but monchug isn't offering the right daughter either so I kinda gave up on that, and CL wants more than I have from my smithing grind for corein so I can't afford that yet

I guess I should finish smithing and warpath my way to rank 3 and try some of these options, although I was hoping to form an independent kingdom without having to be a Merc for someone else first but it's still probably my optimal option

I noticed traits it seems to effect the dialogue chances rather than locking you out by itself but I only have Valor so I can't be sure

Try "buying" your intended spouse when her older sister is captured as prisoner. Clan leaders won't offer you the ones currently imprisoned, but the one next in line.

 

[SyjelHelstein]

Try "buying" your intended spouse when her older sister is captured as prisoner. Clan leaders won't offer you the ones currently imprisoned, but the one next in line.

That's interesting, I didn't know this one, might try it in future.

Still not going well, I barely survived a big siege and then my courtship attempts were met yet again with "I'm just not attracted to you" and savescumming, how do you tell if a character is attracted to you? Preferable before asking them in the return dialogue the second one after saying "maybe you and I..."

 

[murtega]

That's interesting, I didn't know this one, might try it in future.

Still not going well, I barely survived a big siege and then my courtship attempts were met yet again with "I'm just not attracted to you" and savescumming, how do you tell if a character is attracted to you? Preferable before asking them in the return dialogue the second one after saying "maybe you and I..."

Some reply with something starts with "Ah yes, do you have someone in mind" when you start the courtship. Those are interested. Those who reply with things like "Get in line" are usually not. You'll find more interested though after becoming clan tier 3.

 

[Ananda_The_Destroyer]

That's interesting, I didn't know this one, might try it in future.

Still not going well, I barely survived a big siege and then my courtship attempts were met yet again with "I'm just not attracted to you" and savescumming, how do you tell if a character is attracted to you? Preferable before asking them in the return dialogue the second one after saying "maybe you and I..."

I don't think there's any in-game way to know. It doesn't matter at all though, just pick an answer and re-load and try again until it passes. There's no depth or game to it.

 

[Tongueless Orvar]

I don't think there's any in-game way to know. It doesn't matter at all though, just pick an answer and re-load and try again until it passes. There's no depth or game to it.

For me I always just wait til tier 3 to marry because if you are tier 3 basically everyone is interested

 

[Zorion_no]

I don't think there's any in-game way to know. It doesn't matter at all though, just pick an answer and re-load and try again until it passes. There's no depth or game to it.

Thats not correct either, or you havent experienced it.

My character is desired by Apolena of Sturgia and also by Nadea of Western Empire. (most likely by a few other ingame)
Most of the ladies dont have a say about the attractiveness or lack of it when I play, but the one I "do want" will normally say it if I'm only clan rank 2, but never on clan rank 3(Typically at rank 2 I have say 100 or below the threshold of where you get +1 influence pr day as Sturgian) at rank 3 my Charisma is typically 150-200(I may let alot of nobles free or give'em to other lords dungeons)

In the diaouges with Apolean or Nadea, I get the choice to "let none stand between us, not even your family follow your passion" or soemthing along the lines (read its been some time since I did it last).
When you pick it and it suceed it will be a critical sucees and fill 2 slots.

So tbh alot of the things you state about the courtship is based on your own experience and dont seem to be the same for other players like me for instance.

Kind of like if you get that "not attracted to you" - go into the character editor do some minor tweaks, and in most cases that one will not come up.
(savescum naturally, since you need to know they wont be attracted to you).