War is kinda the purpose of the game though. Unless you want to spend your time smithing, or trading, but doing that for 40 years sounds dull too. Or fight bandits, or arena fights... or do village quests..
If you don't like wars you don't have to start a kingdom either...
If you get a war you don't like you can pay them off and stop it... you have options.
I think you DONT GET IT(sorry for shouting). But legit either you are trolling, or havent played very long games for decades.
Not about not likeing war, its about not likeing the abscene of peace at all. That is the clue the endless wars or chains of wars.
And your point atm is kind of moot, cause all you basically due by your suggestion is - pay them, and 30 days or so unless they are at war with others will go for you again to extort more money.
I dont want abscense of war, but I want to be able to do something else in the kingdome than just the endless wars.
Like try to be able to track down and find new lords to recruit, clear out hideouts that is tanking loyality of a conqured settlement since low loyalty + culture penalty = rebellion and all that.
Do more random things than just constant war.
There just isnt any time to do enough of the sandbox unless you say "f'it" and all progress is lost in 7 days.. or less.
Again I have no real issues with it now that I started useing mods instead, cause obviously ppl like you want this bs, and so do TW, so thats fine, but since the diplomacy mod have about 32k unique downloaded already it seems that there is a fair amount of users who is ignored by TW.