After dabbling around with a test char for a while I'm now on day 382 with my second char. For at least 300!!! (notice the multiple exclamation marks) of those days I, as a loyal vassal of Tsar Whatshisname of Moscow, have been at war with the Swedes. And it wont stop. Never. Ever. Neverevernevernever. Never. It's driving me mad.
The war went back and forth for quite some time but eventually I said screw you, grabbed my Musket and shot everyone wearing blue in sight. Then I shot the green ones as well, they're dangerously close to blue so I thought better be safe. With a little help, from a bunch of mustached men in dresses. But they're armed so don't tell them I said that. By now I reduced Sweden to it's "borrowed" Prusian lands in the south but to no avail.
I haven't fought anything else but Swedes in this game. Once in a battle I spotted a winged hussar in the midst of the swedish hordes but I shot him. He said some really nasty things about the Tsar. Something about a donkey and a kiddy pool full of pudding. In Warband at least the enemy sometimes changed and in between were small periods of something called peace, but I didn't quite grasp it's purpose. I think it's the time you use to pull the enemies teeth out of your boots. Or to buy new boots if you're lucky and it's a lot of gold teeth.
Meanwhile I have no idea where the heck the Tsar is. Or anyone else who is supposed to fight by my side for that matter. For 150 days there is a war with the Crim people but they're obviously aware of the importance of Swede stomping so they don't bother me when I'm off burning people and stealing females. I guess the Tsar and all of his vassals must be down there somewhere, presumably dancing and playing cards with the Khan and generally frollicking. Because sure as hell no one is capturing **** down there. Not one city changed hands. They must be having one hell of a time.
Which brings me to my final lament: The Swedish kings deteriorating mental health. The Swedish king in the wild is generally not seen without a host of lickspittles clinging to his ass, hoping to catch a piece of antilope when the wild King is off lazing in the shade. He and his host seem to have adopted a certain routine. They'll start by sieging Dzvinsk castle for a few days, then ride off to Narva without even attacking to do a little hard siegework there. Thenn they'll pay a visit in Riga, eventually at Dorpat and Dzvinsk again because it's in the area I guess. Reval and Riga are also visited regularly.
He must be mighty fond of what he build once. I admit the masonry on the outside of those walls is quite fine and the detail on the crennelations superb, so well done there, but seriously give me a break. It's creeping me out. Everynight he's out there...just staring at the walls. Staring with those empty evil eyes that are natural to all Swedes. I have to follow him around all day for fear that he might finally decide to take a look at the other side of the wall.
And I swear his stupidity is contagious. Sometimes I see one of his bootlickers standing around alone, outside of a city, laying siege to it with a couple of dozen men and some ultra secret weapon obviously because he could not even dream of actually taking it. A moonlaser perhaps. Or maybe a moonmusket to stay historically accurate.
Long text, short question: Am I the only one experiencing this an being annoyed by it? Is this even intended? Am I just unlucky? Is the long time standing in gunpowder fumes finally taking it's toll on my mind? Will building a shrine to the dark gods out of the souls of flayed infants make this madness stop? Seriously, that one priest guy, the one that reeks of cheap vodka and cabbage, made some amazing plans, you'll love it when you see it, I promise.
[EDIT] Oh god I went a bit overboard with that one, didn't I. Scuse me for the wall of text.
The war went back and forth for quite some time but eventually I said screw you, grabbed my Musket and shot everyone wearing blue in sight. Then I shot the green ones as well, they're dangerously close to blue so I thought better be safe. With a little help, from a bunch of mustached men in dresses. But they're armed so don't tell them I said that. By now I reduced Sweden to it's "borrowed" Prusian lands in the south but to no avail.
I haven't fought anything else but Swedes in this game. Once in a battle I spotted a winged hussar in the midst of the swedish hordes but I shot him. He said some really nasty things about the Tsar. Something about a donkey and a kiddy pool full of pudding. In Warband at least the enemy sometimes changed and in between were small periods of something called peace, but I didn't quite grasp it's purpose. I think it's the time you use to pull the enemies teeth out of your boots. Or to buy new boots if you're lucky and it's a lot of gold teeth.
Meanwhile I have no idea where the heck the Tsar is. Or anyone else who is supposed to fight by my side for that matter. For 150 days there is a war with the Crim people but they're obviously aware of the importance of Swede stomping so they don't bother me when I'm off burning people and stealing females. I guess the Tsar and all of his vassals must be down there somewhere, presumably dancing and playing cards with the Khan and generally frollicking. Because sure as hell no one is capturing **** down there. Not one city changed hands. They must be having one hell of a time.
Which brings me to my final lament: The Swedish kings deteriorating mental health. The Swedish king in the wild is generally not seen without a host of lickspittles clinging to his ass, hoping to catch a piece of antilope when the wild King is off lazing in the shade. He and his host seem to have adopted a certain routine. They'll start by sieging Dzvinsk castle for a few days, then ride off to Narva without even attacking to do a little hard siegework there. Thenn they'll pay a visit in Riga, eventually at Dorpat and Dzvinsk again because it's in the area I guess. Reval and Riga are also visited regularly.
He must be mighty fond of what he build once. I admit the masonry on the outside of those walls is quite fine and the detail on the crennelations superb, so well done there, but seriously give me a break. It's creeping me out. Everynight he's out there...just staring at the walls. Staring with those empty evil eyes that are natural to all Swedes. I have to follow him around all day for fear that he might finally decide to take a look at the other side of the wall.
And I swear his stupidity is contagious. Sometimes I see one of his bootlickers standing around alone, outside of a city, laying siege to it with a couple of dozen men and some ultra secret weapon obviously because he could not even dream of actually taking it. A moonlaser perhaps. Or maybe a moonmusket to stay historically accurate.
Long text, short question: Am I the only one experiencing this an being annoyed by it? Is this even intended? Am I just unlucky? Is the long time standing in gunpowder fumes finally taking it's toll on my mind? Will building a shrine to the dark gods out of the souls of flayed infants make this madness stop? Seriously, that one priest guy, the one that reeks of cheap vodka and cabbage, made some amazing plans, you'll love it when you see it, I promise.
[EDIT] Oh god I went a bit overboard with that one, didn't I. Scuse me for the wall of text.
