Dating Thread, v. II

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need some advice
there is a guy i find interesting&fun in my college. we kissed in the first week when clubbing, and since then we're quite cordial to each other. i want to know what kind of person he is but the problem is i have few natural opportunities to speak with him so our chat was generally limited to ordinary things. how can i get to spend more time with him without seeming too intrusive or creepy
 
Calradianın Bilgesi said:
need some advice
there is a guy i find interesting&fun in my college. we kissed in the first week when clubbing, and since then we're quite cordial to each other. i want to know what kind of person he is but the problem is i have few natural opportunities to speak with him so our chat was generally limited to ordinary things. how can i get to spend more time with him without seeming too intrusive or creepy
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Ask him out for a coffee.
 
Coffee is so beta. You've even kissed before so there's obviously chemistry to drop the bull**** a bit. Drop the ambiguity and unnatural / inefficent escalation nature of the coffee date and suggest going for a drink at night to some bar. And no, being bold like that isn't creepy when there is rapport and there's been physicality.
 
So me and the girl I've been seeing off and on for a couple of years actually tried to make a real go of it recently for 2-3 months. It didn't work out - we're just not quite right for each other, and although we care about each other each of us just seems to keep disappointing the other in various ways when it comes to what we want in a relationship. So I called it off this time, although she's usually the one who calls it off because it's not working for her (I could tell it wasn't this time so I didn't want to make her do that again). But we're still talking and occasionally ****ing, so it's not like it wasn't more than a little amicable.
 
jacobhinds said:
kurczak said:
But I find it amusing that no one expressed any like curiosity or surprise about the guy. Like is everyone thinking "oh yeah sure, all guys are like that, nothing to see here"?
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.....

In my highly subjective opinion, being a fully accomodating, pampering person is a flaw in itself. I feel awkward and useless even in hotels or restaurants when staff do stuff for me, and having a person like that in the house constantly would be a nightmare. If anyone's to volunteer to do the chores and gain the favor-advantage it's gotta be me.
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Sounds healthy  :mrgreen:

Bulle said:
He is almost perfect, it's crazy. BUT, he is co-dependent with his narcissistic ex but I finally managed to make him take a great distance from her and not see her. And he has GAD, which is for me not a problem at all since it just makes him understand my problems with anxiety more (And I understand his). I do have pictures of us together, since I figure that giving his instagram wont actually prove that we are seeing each other.

But yeah, he is amazing. Better than in a romantic movie. Handsome, cute, sexy, smart, talented, nerdy, compassionate, caring, generous, funny etc.
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Nah, I don't need to see any picture. The choice of word imaginary was just an edgy way of saying that he sounds very, I guess, unique.

Also, since you mention it "publicly", I'm gonna assume it's not extremely rude to ask what was the T that caused your PTSD?
 
Bilgesi: You've kissed, but he's not opening up? You're being set up to be a future booty call. I did this lots of times - take the shortcut to bed without getting all emotionally involved with a girl, and she'll (normally) take a hint and understand that we're not meant to be a couple.

Some of them certainly tried to get under my skin, to find out what makes me tick, but I shut that **** down like Obi-Wan Kenobi did the tractor beam, man.
 
kurczak said:
Bulle said:
He is almost perfect, it's crazy. BUT, he is co-dependent with his narcissistic ex but I finally managed to make him take a great distance from her and not see her. And he has GAD, which is for me not a problem at all since it just makes him understand my problems with anxiety more (And I understand his). I do have pictures of us together, since I figure that giving his instagram wont actually prove that we are seeing each other.

But yeah, he is amazing. Better than in a romantic movie. Handsome, cute, sexy, smart, talented, nerdy, compassionate, caring, generous, funny etc.
Click to expand...

Nah, I don't need to see any picture. The choice of word imaginary was just an edgy way of saying that he sounds very, I guess, unique.

Also, since you mention it "publicly", I'm gonna assume it's not extremely rude to ask what was the T that caused your PTSD?
Click to expand...
He is unique. I have never ever met someone like him before and I have never been treated this good before either.

Oh, it was a bit of this and a bit of that. It's not really one thing, but rather a plethora of different types of abuse that mixes together to one massive cesspool.
 
This was exactly the wrong time to have run into my boyhood crush, who is as lovely as she ever was. Must. Resist. Relapse. In. This. Time. Of. Weakness.
 
I loved my ex, and after she's broken my heart leading to me leaving her, it left an emotional vacuum that really should not be filled with this familiar feeling for my never-quite-forgotten crush, as she's unreachable for me, it's too long a story to get into, but yeah, not happening with her.
 
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