Dating Thread, v. II

[Antonis]

Heh, you might be right. I admit love is more elusive than the proverbial fart (not Seff's) in a windstorm, for me.

 

[Lord Brutus]

I've already given a major hint. Ladies love to be surprised, especially by a candlelight table within view of the ocean. It's called romance, perhaps you've heard of it?

 

[Seff]

You have to actually have the interest of a lady before you can use such tricks, though. Otherwise it's mega creepy.

 

[Lord Brutus]

You have to actually have the interest of a lady before you can use such tricks, though. Otherwise it's mega creepy.

Did you miss the part above where she said, "I always hoped you would notice me?"

 

[Cyborg Eastern European]

Yeah, fine, sure. You may have spotted a hint, but for some of us, that has to be 60 metres tall, "Start with 'England Expects...'", or the only thing keeping an unlubricated cattle prod out of our ass is blind luck.

And frankly, call me a prude, but I much prefer to keep those stoved until after the third date or so.

 

[Lord Brutus]

Dude, the woman in question and I had been in the same grad school class for over three years. I pretty much knew what to expect. If you can't spot clues from a woman there's a word for that: virgin.

 

[Seff]

Pfft, some of us couldn't take a hint serveral years after losing our virginity.

 

[Cyborg Eastern European]

But did you sail, saliently, past each and every hint, and into that very same bed?

 

[Seff]

Nah, I dropped the ball lots of times.

 

[Weaver]

So sorry to see this thread degrading from a trove of genuinely good advice for the socially awkward brothers into a place for creepy geezers to brag about their past adulteries.
Is it true that the kids nowadays are increasingly not getting any?

 

[Cyborg Eastern European]

Well, between the current site traffic and...weather, at the moment actual dating advice is a bit useless.

So it's funny anecdotes that would get Seff scalped if he mentioned them elsewhere, and Brutus is an old **** that will reminisce about folks that haven't been alive since the renaissance at any given opportunity.

 

[Seff]

In related news, I broke a condom for the first time last night. I'm glad I noticed it pretty fast.

 

[Adorno]

How much money have you given her?

 

[Antonis]

How much money have you given """"""her""""""?

 

[Mad Vader]

Tell her you keep seeing her face when you are screwing other girls. It's romantic!

 

[Seff]

Girls love to feel special like that.

 

[Captured Joe]

Just in case we're having another Temuzu here: The two gentlemen above me are joking.

 

[Seff]

Spoilsport.

 

[Lord Brutus]

Just in case we're having another Temuzu here: The two gentlemen above me are joking.

I keep seeing Joe's face when screwing other girls. Why is that?

 

[Captured Joe]

Brutus, are you masturbating to black and white drawings?