Dating Thread, v. II

Kentucky James VII

BioAfrikaner
Duke
Best answers
2
Well the "friendzone" exists, but it's always framed in a way which makes it out like being friends with a woman is failure. I grew up in an extended family of mostly women and girls and a lot (~70%) of my friends in highschool were too, so this seems obvious to me, but I think all men should at least try and be friends with women they aren't actually attracted to before they try a relationship.
I think a lot of guys get confused and mistake friendliness for attraction even though as a straight man you would never, ever assume that your male friend wants to bone you just because he is nice to you. Some women even act flirty or even downright sexual even if they aren't attracted, the same way some male friends will make jokes about sucking you off.

tl;dr i believe in you arvenski
 

MadVader

Duke
M&BWB
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0
After following madvader's advice:

GREETINGS FEMALE... *sniffffffffff* IS THAT A FAINT MUSK I DETECT...? *hnnnnnnnnrrfff* ARE YOU IN HEAT, MY DEAR? MARVELLOUS...STAND STILL, DARLING...*hnnoooooorf* SUCH A DELICIOUS FRAGRANCE....DELECTIBLE...MAY I..?? *snap* YES, A PHOTOGRAPH FOR MY OWN PERSONAL DATABASE....i'LL BE PUTTING YOU ON THE HALL OF FAME FOR SURE...RAVISHING...GOODBYE, MY BEAUTY....ONE PARTING SNIFF BEFORE I GO? *khnnoooooooooorrrfffff* AH, A MESMERISING AROMA...AU REVOIR, MON PETIT FROMAGE...ADIEU... *sniiffffffffffffffff*
That's not very clever nor funny, is it? You seem to have a large chip on your shoulder for some reason.
It's normal to ask people about what they like and this may serve as an opening into finding common ground.
 

Kentucky James VII

BioAfrikaner
Duke
Best answers
2
Asking people about their relationships or sexual preferences is pretty rude and inappropriate in most places and only 45 year old aunties are allowed to get away with it without sounding like nosy pervs. I wouldn't even ask my friends how things are going with their S.O. unless they brought it up first. Asking "what do you like in a man" is also extremely transparent, to the point where it feels more condescending than just asking someone out the normal way.
 

kurczak

Section Moderator
WB
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0
The dating thread hasn't had a post in four months? Jesus Christ, is everybody just using their hands these days? :razz:

Figured I'd post an update on my own dating-related non-adventures: Back in the fall, I finally got my crush's phone number. Yay! That's a weight off my mind; it was pretty frustrating trying to figure out how to date someone when I didn't even have a way of communicating with her directly. At the same time, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the park with me. She seemed to like that idea. I texted her a couple of times to see about meeting up to go for that walk, but both times she said she was busy. (****.) After the second time, I didn't want to seem like a nag, so I left it there and didn't ask again. Her being busy both times did make sense, though, because I was texting her at short notice: I'd text her like early in the afternoon (because with my work, I didn't always know how my day is going to unfold) to see if she wanted to get together later that day, but by that point she'd have already made plans with her parents or her friends. So, partly my fault, but disappointing nonetheless. I've seen her a few times since then, but it's always been when we've both been busy and there've been other people around. I haven't texted her since then; I guess I haven't known what to say or what I should do next.

My initial thinking, earlier in the year, was to keep things between us casual and friendly to start with, and then once we'd had time to get to know each other a bit and the perfect moment presented itself, I'd try to make a romantic move. Now, even though we haven't gotten a chance to spend any significant time alone, I feel like we have gotten to know each other a bit, and I feel like the perfect moment is never going to come along if she doesn't know why I want to spend time with her. I feel like the next time we see each other and there's a few minutes when noone else is around, I should just make a move, try to tell her how I feel about her, and see what she thinks. Does that seem like a sane approach, guys? I feel like I'm never going to get anywhere with her if I don't do something.
If you asked her more than three times and she was always busy without suggesting an alternative date when she's not busy, then forget her and move on.
 

MadVader

Duke
M&BWB
Best answers
0
Asking people about their relationships or sexual preferences is pretty rude and inappropriate in most places and only 45 year old aunties are allowed to get away with it without sounding like nosy pervs. I wouldn't even ask my friends how things are going with their S.O. unless they brought it up first. Asking "what do you like in a man" is also extremely transparent, to the point where it feels more condescending than just asking someone out the normal way.
That's pretty weird even if you account for British standoffishness. Remember that people around the world, including Arvenworld, are much more relaxed about asking personal questions, especially on a date. Being a smartass and wrong at the same time doesn't make you more convincing.

It's not normal to be talking about other women as a "strategy" in a "game"...
It's a crude concept, but it helps when talking about unwritten rules and avoiding common mistakes. It's true that when you know what are you doing there are no rules and there is no game.
 
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Revverie

Knight
Best answers
0
Huh asking about our relationships its pretty common where im from or at least in my group of friends, everyone opens up pretty easily and it's a normal type of conversation, sexual preference it's a chat you dont have everyday... that's like something you speak about in certain situations, straight up asking that is pretty weird. Like hey do you like penis???
Please dont think about strategies to get laid just be human and expect human reactions is the only thing that matters