Dating Thread, v. I

[McBeverage]

Would messaging a friend of the girl (who I've never talked to or even added or anything) on Facebook to ask where the girl likes to go out to eat be weird or anything?

 

[Anarion]

I'd just ask the girl directly. No harm in doing that.

 

[Mage246]

And if you really want to enlist her friends, just go ahead and tell them that you're interested. No real point in keeping it a secret (not that you'd be successful if you tried). They might want to help you, so get on their good side.

 

[Chechen!]

Would messaging a friend of the girl (who I've never talked to or even added or anything) on Facebook to ask where the girl likes to go out to eat be weird or anything?

Nah. Just don't get too involved with her friends, without her knowing/wanting.

 

[Lord Burgess1]

Go around to her house with some of your brain hanging out Bev, chicks dig that stuff.

 

[McBeverage]

Borgus pls

So would something like " Hey, so I'm Nate.  Think I saw you at the gym the other day, right?
Anyways, I realized that even though [girl's name] and I have been talking for nearly a month now, I haven't actually taken her out anywhere, and I'd like to change that, but I dunno what kinda food she likes.  Think you could help me there?
(and btw, this conversation never happened >.> )"
be alright?
(and yeah, the bit at the end in parenthesis is more wishful thinking than anything else; it's no big deal if she does tell her but it would be awesome if she doesn't lol)

 

[Eктωρ]

I think that would be alright.

 

[Eктωρ]

Commitment in what sense?

 

[Eктωρ]

Hm, can't say I understand that.

 

[Lyze]

I'd skip the "asking the friends" part, and go straight to asking the girl you're interested in/courting at the moment, Bev. Both of you need to get a handle on open communication and how to be comfortable expressing your desires within the context of a relationship/intimate partnership, and asking food preferences is as good a place as any to start. It's harmless, it's a way to learn more about your partner, and it can drop hints that you're gonna go out for dinner too.

I think there's this skewed perception that romanticism has to be a one way thing, with one partner receiving and the other giving, but honestly, from my experiences, open exchange and participation by both partners, even if it's figuring out what you want to do together, is a lot more satisfying. So yeah, just ask her, mate. Doesn't hurt that it shows confidence either.


Aaaand I'm in a relationship. We haven't yet defined what we are, but she's polyamorous, which is scary and new to me, but something I'm totally down for. It's been absolutely electric thus far, and it's been about a month. Crazy how quickly the connections form when you find someone super compatible. Communication has been grand, time spent with her has been very enjoyable, and I suspect it goes deeper than New Relationship Energy if my past experience is any indication. We're very compatible on a lot of levels, and want to do all the things all the time. Haven't gotten tired of her yet, and vice versa, which is genuinely surprising on both sides; normally alone time is needed now and again, but it hasn't hit yet.

In any case, about ****ing time. This is grand. And oooh hell yes is she down for kink. We were going through our checklists last night and had another "can we do all the things? like right now?" moment.

 

[Seff]

Hector: It's a fear of losing ones freedom and/or missing better opportunities by way of being committed to one girl. Not saying it's rational, but I definitely know the feeling. I really don't see myself settling down in the next long while.

 

[Eктωρ]

You can settle down without losing freedoms, my mongol friend. Like, if both you and said partner are up for it, a freer relationship can work if it's agreed on. It's basically what me and the girl have going and it suits me, just a humble opinion.

 

[Eктωρ]

You're human, rationalize it.

 

[Fierce Headmaster]

Yeah, what with him not being human and all.

 

[Dryvus]

You're a Romulan, you liar.

 

[nikosierra125]

Being nice to girls is great, but you have to pepper your compliments with insults or they will figure out your plan.

Also Bev while you are talkng, find a good time and ask "so if I was to take you out for a romantic candle lit dinner, where would I take you? ;p"

 

[Mage246]

ITYM, "in what position should I take you?"

 

[Seff]

You can settle down without losing freedoms, my mongol friend. Like, if both you and said partner are up for it, a freer relationship can work if it's agreed on. It's basically what me and the girl have going and it suits me, just a humble opinion.

That'd be fine, but I'd still have to use time and energy on said girl to maintain the relationship, and that's just not fun. I need a girl I can't live without, not a girl I can live with.

 

[Eктωρ]

I see, it's understandable people have different desires and hopes.

 

[Cyborg Eastern European]

Just assume it won't last and you're just along for the ride and if it does, guess it was worth it.