I think the selection process should simply be:
A - MAP
B - SPAWN
A - FACTION
B - FACTION
Seems like that still gives A the driving control of the match but at the same time gives B plenty of chances to counter and level the playing field, ending up with a reasonably equal match...which is what you ideally want in competition. Being able to set up holes for team B to climb out of is not fun for anybody.
Ghosting - I think everyone mostly has it figured out. Though really, in a game like mount and blade I can hardly ever see what ghosting would do to provide an advantage. In the village you can get up on a building and see where they are coming from, and nobody is dead at that point anyway. On the other maps, you can pretty much see the entire map at all times anyway. This is not like a shooting game where someone is going to hit you in the back and kill your entire team.
Besides that, the server has a strict setting which only lets you spec your team. Now, the only advantage in m&b I can see in ghosting is the ghost can watch your back. If there was a 'face forward' follow mode, which I think would make spectating more fun in general so you can see what a player is specifically doing, you would take away this advantage. At that point you can only see what your team sees, which they can just as well report say it anyway.
Anyway, I mean pretty much for a clan match you just put on strict spec mode and don't worry about it, that's about all you can do about it.
Also, I would think that just having a play tested league format would be great, because I really assume in the future we will see some leagues created for m&b. Already the battle for Calradia is getting made, and could benefit from any experience here with organized matches. I fully expect to see a league with all sorts of formats, 1v1 2v2 3v3, 5v5, 10v10 etc.
One other key thing which will have to happen in release is there should be EU, US, Oceanic, China etc game leagues, because lets face it, competition with huge ping is just not ever going to be fair, or even fun. Let a clan decide they want to play at a severe ping disadvantage by joining an opposite continent league/ladder.
I often dislike very competitive gaming because you tend to draw in people who will do anything and everything to win, which can really take the fun out of something that is supposed to be your entertainment at the end of the day. On the flip side, every game needs that kind of competition though to help expose balance and design flaws.
While most of us can work out 1v1 melee problems, (and I still do believe that they scale up very well, ie when the duel works the game works just a well in big groups), 1v1 balance can not cover every possible thing that could go wrong. We need to see threads like "XXX clan loaded all vaegir archers and we found no way to beat them on any map setting ever, to fix it we should YYYY".
If people don't get off the ground playing matches somewhat competitively we only have random pub matches to go on for balance tweaking. Anyway, fully support the intention of this thread, and coming to a semi popular conclusion for server/game settings and format that is most fun and competitive among the community is a good thing.