Can't find the barter dialogue while at war

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Since declaring a new kingdom, I can't find the barter system to try and get lords and ladies to defect. I can only get the barter system up to make peace with that faction.

Any idea what's going on here? Do I need to make peace with my old faction before I can poach their leaders?
 
You've got to track down the leader of the clan and click the "perhaps we don't have to come to blows" > "what do you think of your liege..." options. It's way less tedious is you use a mod which lets you send messengers.
 
You've got to track down the leader of the clan and click the "perhaps we don't have to come to blows" > "what do you think of your liege..." options. It's way less tedious is you use a mod which lets you send messengers.
Roger roger. That's actually what I meant; I'm talking to clan leaders and that option doesn't appear. Is it possible that there are certain conditions that I'm missing?

Update: I forgot to make my own kingdom, haha. Thank you for your help!
 
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You've got to track down the leader of the clan and click the "perhaps we don't have to come to blows" > "what do you think of your liege..." options. It's way less tedious is you use a mod which lets you send messengers.
On your second point; thanks for the suggestion! Mods are broken for me right now, but if I can get them working again I'll definitely look into that
 
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