It's not me trying to say Warband's melee is "realistic". I thought by bringing up naked peasants with 2h weapons (like you get in those crazy DM servers) you were suggesting the feintspamming in particular made it less realistic. I was trying to show that it exists in Bannerlord too (possibly to an extent that's much more unreadable than in Warband, although I'd rather let others give their opinion on that right now). I wasn't saying it doesn't exist in Warband, and clearly I already know about it, because I posted a video of myself playing on one of those servers.
Here are some different armour pieces that were worn by players in that video alone (let alone "the tournament"):
Helmets:
Desert Turban
Sarranid Mail Coif
Sarranid Veiled Helmet
Nordic Leather Helmet
Nordic Fighter Helmet
Cap with Fur
Spiked Cap
Helmet with Neckguard
Flat Topped Helmet
The cavalry also opted to not wear a helmet in some rounds, presumably so they could afford upgraded versions of other items instead.
Body armour:
Archer's Padded Vest
Sarranid Leather Armour
Sarranid Guard Amour
Cavalry Robe
Leather Jerkin
Byrnie
Blue Tunic
Lamellar Vest
Leather Vest
Aketon
Haubergeon
Red Gambeson
Mail Shirt
Mail Hauberk
Leather Armour
There were many more armour pieces the players could have chosen, and more probably were chosen outside of the highlights shown. The commentators even bothered to talk about armour chosen at one point and mentioned how it allowed a player (Tomayus) survive so well on the flag, so the armour obviously did make a difference. I can discern between all of these armour pieces visually, but a few of the body armour might look similar. The names alone don't infer the differences. Leather types can look different, such as the bright yellow leather for Sarranids compared to Nords, and the leather for cavalry. The lack of visual disparity between Nord and Vaegir infantry (if they're both wearing leather jerkins specifically) is definitely a valid criticism that's been brought up by players before, but it's got nothing to do with realism, and they're certainly not "naked peasants".
Meanwhile, take a look at the same-ness of the bots in Captains:
And, honestly, the mechanics of cavalry in MP is probably among the least realistic M&B has ever been.