Amusing similes.

[Ingolifs]

This is a task i think Rando might like.

Basically, i'm trying to make a list of awesome similes to be used in conversation. For those who don't know, a simile is when you describe something by describing it like or as someting else, i.e. Flying like an eagle.

Here's a couple of mine:

Thrown around like porno in an all boys school bus.

Shaking like a dog ****ting glass.


Now you try. Post those that you have made up or have heard elsewhere.

 

[Sir Prince]

Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.

 

[Rando]

Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.

I too ran here like a horny redneck to a family reunion thinking this thread was about posting amusing emoticons. Too bad I was disappointed like a hand-amputated super model after a cheesecake binge.

What makes you think I would like this thread Ingolifs? Unless, I am not understanding like Britany Spears at a 3rd grade science fair. If that is not the case, then this is idea is as weak as Killalot's counter arguments (that last one was a cheap shot, I apologize...just kidding).

 

[Lost-Lamb]

X is like a flying yellow brick but exactly the opposite

Edit:typo

 

[Reiel]

If you don't got to ****, get out of Lost Lamb's mouth.

 

[Quetzalcoatl]

Loose like a nail in jello
Lost lika a s.o.b. on father´s day
Exposed like a cable man´s butt
High like a commander´s horse
Frustrated like a cockroach upside down
Turned on like a prisioner´s radio
White like a nun´s leg
Upseting, like a gillette on the bathroom floor
Taking longer than a rich man´s funeral
Lost like a deaf in an auction
Useless like a honk on a plane
Crazy like sleeping on the railway
Dirty like a butcher´s phone

 

[slavetrader]

busy like Jackson in Disneyland

 

[Sir Prince]

^^

As cold as pavlov's cats.

 

[Rabid Potatoe]

As camp as the most haunted live presenter.

 

[Cataphract]

Ugly as a wheelchair

 

[Lost-Lamb]

Harder than a priest at a playground

 

[Fluffy The Hamster]

Harder than a priest at a playground

HA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!

 

[Worbah]

As usefull as a chocolate condom.

This one can't really be translated, but my latin teacher uses it often.

Pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa.

 

[Rando]

My brother says this a lot:

As smart as a drawer full of hair.

 

[Sir Saladin]

I may not be as strong as an ox but I'm almost as smart as one.

 

[Ingolifs]

As intellectual as a pig rectum kebab.

 

[WipperSnipper]

As tiny as the sun.

 

[bodyless]

as ugly as thomas's face.

HI BROVAH !!!!!

 

[Rando]

As useful as another butthole.

I am kind of suprised JStrange hasn't posted here. This seems right up his alley.

This is off topic but, I laugh everytime I heard this line in a movie:

He wouldn't piss on my face if my teeth were on fire.

 

[Can O Soup]

Dumb as ****tin' in a twister.