Affiliate to a family

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After being affiliated with Jarl Turya's family for some time, I can say I'm not totally happy with some aspects. For example, the relationship loss with every member should one of those morons wander off and get defeated or captured. If that's going to happen, then I want every family lord to inform me where they're going and what they're up to before they leave the house. Or  if they get captured and I rescue them, I should get the same +7 relationship boost with every family member, not just the rescued member. Jarl Olaf has been captured 4 times in this game; I have rescued him three times,twice from castles and once from the enemy lord  in the field, so his relationship with me is still pretty tight, but my wife, Lady Endegrid, Jarl Turya's daughter has gone from 85 when we were married down to 64.
Meanwhile Jarl Olaf, awarded Praven when we took it from the Swadians, garrisoned it with only 104 troops so when Rhoducks declare war "to curb our power", Praven falls easily. Olaf wasn't home. He was off getting captured by Vaegirs while trying to loot their village of Sheep****. I rescue him from Radogir Castle. Next time I see him he's got 41 troops and headed out. Vaegirs capture him again while he's trying to loot Tismirr. Meanwhile Jarl Marayirr and then Jarl Turya get captured. More relationship hits. I rescue both from the lords who captured them, but I never recover any relations with any of the women.
 
i dont understand these terms. where i can check these properties about lords?

If lord character = martial , then player renown required >= lord renown
If lord character = cunning , then player right-to-rule required >= 10
If lord character = sadistic/debauched , then player honor required < -7 (because easier to become dishonorable than honorable)
If lord character = upstanding , then player honor required > +5
If lord character = goodnatured, then faction relation required >= 90 (don't be afraid it's really easy)
If lord character = selfrighteous/pitiless , then player's fortune (money) required >= (lord renown) * 65
If lord character = default/custodian or quarrelsome/badtempered, then player relation with lord required >= 14
 
I agree with Lord Brutus, it can be a hassle, especially if your on a military campaign and Lord Aeric gets gets rapped by 2million Swadians and Rhodocks, and you can't do anything, because he is far away from the marshal your suppose to follow (this happened when i played.) As a suggestion maybe make it so you take a relationship hit from whoever you are affiliated with from losses IF you: 1) Run from a fight with the lord.(when your on the deploy screen) 2) Lose the fight with the lord. 3)If he gets beat after he gave you a mini quest to follow him. (like military campaign for the family)

EDIT
Maybe you could have a family pool of money, that is split among you and whoever your affiliated with.
 
nice idea but why when i want to affiliate to a family he said that " will you really want risk our friendship over partnership?"
 
we never know where is our family member, and its very difficult to track him all the time, our relation with all family members deteriorates. print somewhere what family member doing, like when we ask what you and your men doing. its hard to change this thing, but maybe the easiest way is this with answer to question I wrote earlier.
 
Lol Jarl Bulba and co. keep refusing telling me they don't like me despite a 26 relation. Maybe because I've been sneaking around with his fiance.

Right after he decided to run away to Vaegirs because our petty Nord kingdom only had 2 castles. Next week I was made marshal, blitzed vaegirs into virtual oblivion capturing all their lords including him.
 
I will post a question here, hope you don't mind. Thank you in advance...

I would like to know if there is a higher bonus on RTR or smth else if the player character weds a Lady, who the Bard has said to be "more ambitious" and so on or a Lady, that is said to be "a true lady".  I mean do different ladies come with different bonuses?
 
I've never noticed any differences like you mention and I've married all sorts of women. Lately, however, I only choose those that bards say are "hard to please". These ladies value honor above all and you wind up with less competition as long as your honor keeps rising.
 
Lord Brutus said:
I've never noticed any differences like you mention and I've married all sorts of women. Lately, however, I only choose those that bards say are "hard to please". These ladies value honor above all and you wind up with less competition as long as your honor keeps rising.

M'lord, thank you for your benevolent idea and mentoring again!
And one thing more, considering your earlier post here - I don't know is there Lady Brutina by your side, but you should know that after the wedding the relations usually drop. ALWAYS! We should keep them in a reasonable numbers only. And this is absolutely normal, otherwise we get a progressive psychological disorder...

Only an opinion...
 
Is it possible to get affilicated to a Kings family? I've been trying but without a result, he keeps refusing.
 
You can affiliate with king, I did it with King Harlaus in my daughters game. Had 25 relation with him when he took me into his family.
 
I'm okay with losing relationship when a lord is defeated/captured, however, as mentioned before, there is no real way to gain relationship.

If I actually come to a lord's rescue, and he gives me a +(1-?) for saving him, I should get at least a +1 across the board for that family.  I'm in a predicament right now, where two of my affiliated family members are at war with me...  Oh happy day.
 
i would like an option to make you able to rejoin a family you got kicked out of if you get an hostile enemy inside the family, maybe a quest to make amends with him or something like that?
 
I've tried out this feature, and while I think the idea is very promising, the implementation still has a ways to go to make it more playable.

I'm not quite up to the task of fixing this, but I've made some small changes that might help things based on the discussion in this thread.  The changes are included in the 2011-04-03 update of Diplomacy 3.3.2+: Allow fief trading & other improvements.

CounterPoint said:
Since you also inccur penalties if they get defeated, pehaps being affilated should provide bonuses to convincing them to follow you or your suggestions on where to go, giving you a way to keep them from foolhardy battles, and lead your 'family' to victory.

The update includes this.  Your affiliated family members are now more likely to listen to your advice, and you can give them an expanded range of suggestions even when you are not the marshall.

Lord Brutus said:
After being affiliated with Jarl Turya's family for some time, I can say I'm not totally happy with some aspects. For example, the relationship loss with every member should one of those morons wander off and get defeated or captured. If that's going to happen, then I want every family lord to inform me where they're going and what they're up to before they leave the house.

orome said:
we never know where is our family member, and its very difficult to track him all the time, our relation with all family members deteriorates. print somewhere what family member doing, like when we ask what you and your men doing.

The update adds an option to the Reports menu to see where your affiliated family members are (including where they are imprisoned) and how many soldiers they have with them.  (I think this can be defended by the same reasoning that allows the NPC lords to locate each other.  When you were affiliated, they let you into the club and now you can do it too.)

This isn't perfect.  Ideally the system would be more active, not just displaying where they are but what they are doing (i.e. fleeing from an enemy, looting a village), and instead of having to check this in a menu you should be able to enable automatic messages that tell you things like this.  But it was quick to add.



EDIT: I forgot to mention, there is another change.  Now the relationship penalty when an affiliated family member is defeated does not apply if the player himself is wounded or captured.  (This can happen if the player is elsewhere -- it makes no sense to blame him for what happened while he was locked in a dungeon -- but it also might mean that he was fighting alongside his affiliated family member, and they both went down together.)  The same goes for the relationship penalty for affiliated family members in captivity: it does not apply when the player is wounded or captured.
 
what does that mean:"Not a chance,Since i dislike you,i will not sponsor you."
and my relationship with him was +32



 
If I marry a lady in a family I want to affiliate with, I can't affiliate anymore... Am I automatically a part of the family? Do I get the benefits of it?
 
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