Advice on Marriage

[Tiber]

So I play a female in this particular game, and I am wondering about marriage as a political advantage. I could not find answers to these particular questions so I am asking them here:
Once a female character marries a lord, will the husband always stay loyal to the wife with his troops? Right now I am with one faction and I understand that if my husband were of another faction and the two go to war, my husband might war against me, but what if I declare independence will he then join me or be my enemy as well?
Does any of his material or political power benefit me? That is to say would I share in his wealth and allies?
Is it better to wait to marry until I have my own faction?
Thanks for any input.

 

[Rhade]

My advice is to avoid marriage altogether.

Bang tavern wenches.
????
Profit.

 

[bonez899]

get diplomacy mod and then you don't need marriage as you can hire people to do that stuff for you.

 

[Zemalf]

get diplomacy mod and then you don't need marriage as you can hire people to do that stuff for you.

Can you elaborate? With a wife/husband you can hold feasts, not possible otherwise, diplomacy or no diplomacy

As for the OP, if you do marry now you start you own kingdom by convincing your husband he should be king. It's probably the easiest way to start your own kingdom as I believe you keep his lands and your own. And you control it like it's yours, even that the husband is the "king".

If you start kingdom otherwise, I don't know what happens. I'm guessing/hoping husband rebels with you.

 

[Zamensis]

He does.

 

[Northcott]

get diplomacy mod and then you don't need marriage as you can hire people to do that stuff for you.

Can you elaborate? With a wife/husband you can hold feasts, not possible otherwise, diplomacy or no diplomacy

As for the OP, if you do marry now you start you own kingdom by convincing your husband he should be king. It's probably the easiest way to start your own kingdom as I believe you keep his lands and your own. And you control it like it's yours, even that the husband is the "king".

If you start kingdom otherwise, I don't know what happens. I'm guessing/hoping husband rebels with you.

Extra points if you name your PC Eleanor of Aquitaine.

 

[Filou]

The following is for is in diplomacy, I'm not 100% positive that it works like this in native.

Starting your own faction by keeping a fief that the kings wants to give to another lord will result in your husband staying with the original faction. 
At any point after that you can go ask him to switch to your faction and he does so immediately.  In the mean time he'll fight you if you meet on the battlefield.

 

[Tiber]

Thanks for all the feedback, (including the enlightened view on tavern wenches).
So do I understand this right that if I marry at any point when I gain independence my husband becomes King, so does that mean I can never become Queen ruler of all Calradia? Or is he King only in title and I can still be the reigning Queen?

 

[magiker225]

yes you would be queen of calradia by then, but a very handy thing to marry a high lord like the lord of Dhirim or Halmar those are good defendable with big garrison and a very strong lord.

 

[Tiber]

yes you would be queen of calradia by then, but a very handy thing to marry a high lord like the lord of Dhirim or Halmar those are good defendable with big garrison and a very strong lord.

So are you saying to marry before or after I'm Queen? As for your recommendations that sounds good except that those are randomized in every game as far as I can tell and in my game the lord of Halmar is already married.

 

[JosieJ]

The following is for is in diplomacy, I'm not 100% positive that it works like this in native.

Starting your own faction by keeping a fief that the kings wants to give to another lord will result in your husband staying with the original faction. 
At any point after that you can go ask him to switch to your faction and he does so immediately.  In the mean time he'll fight you if you meet on the battlefield.

I believe it works the same in Native.  However, it's not necessary to wait until your liege refuses you a fief to rebel.  If you convince your husband that you should be queen, you automatically start your own faction with all your joint properties (except villages attached to another lord's castle/town), and your husband as a lord.  To me, this is the chief advantage in playing a female character, and the main reason I advise marrying before becoming Queen.  You can also convince your husband he should be king, but then he gets to make all the decisions--I'm way too much of a control freak to have tried that option! 

The lords who own towns at first tend to be the same from game to game and they're all married.  However, towns tend to change hands often!  Doesn't matter who starts out with one as long as you can end up with one (at least)!

 

[Zemalf]

You can also convince your husband he should be king, but then he gets to make all the decisions--I'm way too much of a control freak to have tried that option! 

I might be wrong here as well, but I think the game works exactly the same way as you'd started a kingdom yourself, apart from the fact that you have a lord/king that will never leave you. You, the player, the queen, control everything just like you'd started the kingdom without marriage/husband.

 

[Tiber]

Thanks for all the great replies, I'll be scouting for a lord with a town and troops while there is peace, and hope that my charms work on him
I think that I will also keep the ruling for myself but make the husband my minister; that worked out pretty well for me when I had a wife, however the downside to that is that a minister always hangs out at your court and so he would not ride out to defend the city I guess; something to think about...

I seem to remember that you can also have a secret liaison with another lord after you marry; does anyone know if that is true and what is the point? Do you gain another loyal ally by this who is more likely to do your biding?
By the way I am basing all this on Native, I have currently no mods installed though by the sounds of "Diplomacy" I like to try it out if it works with a saved game.

 

[bonez899]

As far as i know diplomacy is save game compatible.

 

[Northcott]

It is. You just need to copy and paste the save game file from the Native folder to the Diplomacy one, and you're golden. If you've already got a town, your Constable & Crew will automatically pop up, too. No need to hire them.

 

[Ethik Mantis]

Oh dood, do NOT get married, then she's gonna wanna know where you at, with who you are, which taverns are you visiting, and she's gonna send spies after you and she's will ask her dad to keep an eye on you, and she will tell you every single day: 'You better keep your sword in your pants'. Oh and she will ask you 'why' every time you miss out the night in bed!

Don't do it.

 

[bonez899]

Oh dood, do NOT get married, then she's gonna wanna know where you at, with who you are, which taverns are you visiting, and she's gonna send spies after you and she's will ask her dad to keep an eye on you, and she will tell you every single day: 'You better keep your sword in your pants'. Oh and she will ask you 'why' every time you miss out the night in bed!

Don't do it.

This person is playing as the girl... So there are a few differences.

 

[Ethik Mantis]

Oh dood, do NOT get married, then she's gonna wanna know where you at, with who you are, which taverns are you visiting, and she's gonna send spies after you and she's will ask her dad to keep an eye on you, and she will tell you every single day: 'You better keep your sword in your pants'. Oh and she will ask you 'why' every time you miss out the night in bed!

Don't do it.

This person is playing as the girl... So there are a few differences.

I knew that, but anyway here's the other version:

Oh dood, do NOT get married, then he's gonna wanna know where you at, with who you are, which taverns are you visiting, and he's gonna send spies after you and he will ask his dad to keep an eye on you, and he will tell you every single day: 'You better keep your shield in your pants'. Oh and he will ask you 'why' every time you miss out the night in bed!

Don't do it.

 

[Tiber]

The following is for is in diplomacy, I'm not 100% positive that it works like this in native.

Starting your own faction by keeping a fief that the kings wants to give to another lord will result in your husband staying with the original faction. 
At any point after that you can go ask him to switch to your faction and he does so immediately.  In the mean time he'll fight you if you meet on the battlefield.

I believe it works the same in Native.  However, it's not necessary to wait until your liege refuses you a fief to rebel.  If you convince your husband that you should be queen, you automatically start your own faction with all your joint properties (except villages attached to another lord's castle/town), and your husband as a lord.  To me, this is the chief advantage in playing a female character, and the main reason I advise marrying before becoming Queen.  You can also convince your husband he should be king, but then he gets to make all the decisions--I'm way too much of a control freak to have tried that option! 

The lords who own towns at first tend to be the same from game to game and they're all married.  However, towns tend to change hands often!  Doesn't matter who starts out with one as long as you can end up with one (at least)!

So I just installed the latest Diplomacy, it looks promising in terms of all the new possibilities for marriage. Question to you, how do you run multiple mods like the 3 you have listed? I would love to run polished troops as well.

 

[bonez899]

The following is for is in diplomacy, I'm not 100% positive that it works like this in native.

Starting your own faction by keeping a fief that the kings wants to give to another lord will result in your husband staying with the original faction. 
At any point after that you can go ask him to switch to your faction and he does so immediately.  In the mean time he'll fight you if you meet on the battlefield.

I believe it works the same in Native.  However, it's not necessary to wait until your liege refuses you a fief to rebel.  If you convince your husband that you should be queen, you automatically start your own faction with all your joint properties (except villages attached to another lord's castle/town), and your husband as a lord.  To me, this is the chief advantage in playing a female character, and the main reason I advise marrying before becoming Queen.  You can also convince your husband he should be king, but then he gets to make all the decisions--I'm way too much of a control freak to have tried that option! 

The lords who own towns at first tend to be the same from game to game and they're all married.  However, towns tend to change hands often!  Doesn't matter who starts out with one as long as you can end up with one (at least)!

So I just installed the latest Diplomacy, it looks promising in terms of all the new possibilities for marriage. Question to you, how do you run multiple mods like the 3 you have listed? I would love to run polished troops as well.

I believe that polished troops is a sub-mod which means that you unzip it or install it into a text file inside the mod you want it on.