Absurd Conspiracy Thread (Alex Jones Approved)

[Revverie]

That's because even though conspiracy theories about TW might be funny (I agree on that wholeheartedly) there's some bottom of truth to some of them, not as conspiracies

I knew it, TW is a physical manifestation of the Vampiric Archon Mind polluting our public water with fluoride to calcify our paneal glands to prevent us from astral projection and realizing our destinies lie in dimensional compression and not holy exaltation!

Truth, I've never seen them on mirrors, I'm 100% they are all Lasombra practicing Abyss Mysticism!

Lets take this thing to majors, lets make the whole Taleworlds group take a window photo to PROVE what they are. TW Vampires are making our butter GAY

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

Lets take this thing to majors, lets make the whole Taleworlds group take a window photo to PROVE what they are. TW Vampires are making our butter GAY

We have need to be careful. If we challenge their supremacy too soon we could all get black bagged. Remember, do not heed midnight knocks at the door offering free train rides.

 

[Honved]

We have need to be careful. If we challenge their supremacy too soon we could all get black bagged. Remember, do not heed midnight knocks at the door offering free train rides.

These words of wisdom fall into the same vein of truth as "if called by a panther, don't anther".

 

[Harmi]

Armagan check player IP:s from this forum to play Warband multiplayer when they are online to punch bad people online in the face with superior in-house developed cheats! (that's why Bannerlord is also delayed)

 

[Rabies]

I'm not normally one for conspiracies but recently a friend of mine has been trying to convince me that Taleworlds is simultaneously working on another game which they will release it alongside Bannerlord. I not entirely convinced that this is false though I remain highly doubtful that this is true.

I have it on good authority that Taleworld's have been awarded the official Game of Thrones licence, and are developing Bannerlord purely as a test bed for the GoT franchise version. That's the real reason why they dropped the castle-building feature - it doesn't fit with the GoT story and is therefore a waste of time. With the final GoT season due to hit the small screen in 2019, it's likely that a beta version of Bannerlord will release slightly before the show, so they can test that all the mechanics work properly. Then they're going to release the GoT game alongside the TV series, and Bannerlord as a fully fledged game will probably never see the light of day (except maybe as a DLC).

 

[CaptainLee]

I have it on good authority that Taleworld's have been awarded the official Game of Thrones licence, and are developing Bannerlord purely as a test bed for the GoT franchise version. That's the real reason why they dropped the castle-building feature - it doesn't fit with the GoT story and is therefore a waste of time. With the final GoT season due to hit the small screen in 2019, it's likely that a beta version of Bannerlord will release slightly before the show, so they can test that all the mechanics work properly. Then they're going to release the GoT game alongside the TV series, and Bannerlord as a fully fledged game will probably never see the light of day (except maybe as a DLC).

The idea that Taleworlds was given the official Game of Thrones license is too ridiculous even for this thread. Besides, Turkey has Dirilis Ertugrul.

 

[Rabies]

The idea that Taleworlds was given the official Game of Thrones license is too ridiculous even for this thread

I've never been so insulted in all my life

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

I lol'd at that. 

According to my inside sources, the vampiric archon mind is doing everything in its power, including an alliance with the Draconian Overlords from the 2nd level of compression to veil our eternal sacred souls from completing our journey through the Ten Dimensions of Infinite Universes by calcifying our paneal glands to forbid ass-tral projection and the release of Bannerlord. This keeps us in an eternal loop with no exit function so that our infinite selves may continuously feed the God of Religions.

 

[vicwiz007]

My inside sources recently informed me that Armagan is an avid hentai viewer. Once he publicly makes the announcement, TW stock is expected to surpass Google.

Oh and he is starting a secondary project 'Butterlord 2: Hentai VR'

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

What if there is no Bannerlord?

 

[CaptainLee]

I've never been so insulted in all my life

You need to be less sensitive like me...

What if there is no Bannerlord?

GET OUT OF THIS THREAD GET OUT OF MY INTERNET AGAWGAEHHNRWBTB!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Orion]

I lol'd at that. 

According to my inside sources, the vampiric archon mind is doing everything in its power, including an alliance with the Draconian Overlords from the 2nd level of compression to veil our eternal sacred souls from completing our journey through the Ten Dimensions of Infinite Universes by calcifying our paneal glands to forbid ass-tral projection and the release of Bannerlord. This keeps us in an eternal loop with no exit function so that our infinite selves may continuously feed the God of Religions.

隐藏

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

100.999% awake.

 

[Revverie]

Quick conspiration: the devblog usually comes out at 15, and it's 15:45 already, he's on the old blog's comment page, he may be commenting THERE IS NO NEW BLOG, something bad is coming up I tell you all!!!

UPDATE: Callum has dissapeared from the forum, right after he was on the last week's blog comment section. He was killed, it's obvious. He knew the truth.

 

[Honved]

UPDATE: Callum has dissapeared from the forum, right after he was on the last week's blog comment section. He was killed, it's obvious. He knew the truth.

Obviously, the Saudis did it.

 

[Bjorn The Broken]

UPDATE: Callum has dissapeared from the forum, right after he was on the last week's blog comment section. He was killed, it's obvious. He knew the truth.

Obviously, the Saudis did it.

 

[KhergitLancer80]

UPDATE: Callum has dissapeared from the forum, right after he was on the last week's blog comment section. He was killed, it's obvious. He knew the truth.

Obviously, the Saudis did it.

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

Okay, okay, okay ... How about this one:

Bannerlord is already finished, but TW is having too much fun to release it yet! Consider this quote from the most recent blog: "we all got into this business because we love to play games!"

Maybe while testing Bannerlord they got sucked up into their love of playing it that they are trapped, bound by infernal desires and greed to keep playing without releasing it to the wider world. It has become their precious, and in their greed they are unable to let go!

TALEWORLDS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING ... LET IT GO

OR

The game is so great, so powerful, and majestic, that releasing it would cause utter havoc and awaken the WORM OF WORLD'S END. WE MUST SAVE THE ELOHIM!

 

[Rabies]

Okay, okay, okay ... How about this one:

Bannerlord is already finished, but TW is having too much fun to release it yet! Consider this quote from the most recent blog: "we all got into this business because we love to play games!"

Maybe while testing Bannerlord they got sucked up into their love of playing it that they are trapped, bound by infernal desires and greed to keep playing without releasing it to the wider world. It has become their precious, and in their greed they are unable to let go!

TALEWORLDS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING ... LET IT GO

OR

The game is so great, so powerful, and majestic, that releasing it would cause utter havoc and awaken the WORM OF WORLD'S END. WE MUST SAVE THE ELOHIM!

It is well known that anyone who references Lord of the Rings, Terry Pratchett or Red Dwarf has been marked by the HORNED ONE and shall face JUDGMENT on the day of RECKONING.

 

[Triune Impurity Rites 999]

But, I only referenced Stephen Donaldson's Thomas Covenant Chronicles ...