Oh I forgot to tell people that they can get this behaviour back
Just go to config and chnage
<OneHandedThrustBonus>3.34</OneHandedThrustBonus>
<TwoHandedThrustBonus>3.34</TwoHandedThrustBonus>
<ThrustModifier>0.3</ThrustModifier>
into
<OneHandedThrustBonus>1</OneHandedThrustBonus>
<TwoHandedThrustBonus>1</TwoHandedThrustBonus>
<ThrustModifier>1</ThrustModifier>
However cav is going to spam lances at point blank range vs other cav if you revert back.
As for realism in spearman behaviour, spearman should switch to secondary weapons once enemy gets close enough because sword and co are much batter at point blank range (IRL, in RBM we buff spears to the point where they are viable in point blank range), problem is that this would take total of 1 second in bannerlord, however it would be interesting if second rank kept using polearms while first rank switched to shorter weapons.