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Eктωρ said:

I've done some work with shamanic breathing exercises. Aside from a nice religious time with about an hour of prayer, I'm now tripping veeery slightly; I'm euphoric, colours are more vibrant, music is enhanced and I'm disoriented. Aside from that I'm feeling perfectly sober as evidenced by my non impaired writing.

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Hmm.. Sounds interesting. Got any links or something to provide so I can try and learn this myself?

Been on lyrica and morphine all day, just took a walk in the forest. Feeling good. Also just took another dose of morphine. Lyrica really, really boosts it in high doses (1,2g today, but addict since 6 years back so got a lot of tolerance). I really miss bupe though, I actually like it better cause you can take 2-3 small doses of bupe spread out over the day together with lyrica (boosts the hell out of it aswell) first in the morning/midday, and when you "come down" 12 hours later you get really tired and fall asleep. Got to dose so often with the morphine etc and bupe is so much cheaper, but yeah morphine feels good of course. Opi's are really the only drugs atm that make me "normal". Think I've messed up my GABA-receptors quite alot.

EDIT: Just popped a kpin aswell, then a good movie and then a good nights sleep with a final dose of morphine (don't worry, I'll wake up again. ).

Federico said:

I took my last acid 2 years ago, by then I started having same thoughts just walking with my dog during excursion, I mean..to feel some deep connection with everything..
Sometime I think it could be interesting to take LSD now, I feel different from who I was, but I just lack that impulse

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Since it's quite some time ago maybe you should try MDMA if you've not done that? Not the same thing ofc, but for me it's very therapeutic though, and coincidentally pretty much every time something disastrous has happened the following days which I can handle a good deal better after that. Got a curse on me. I always have mixed feelings before tripping and MDMA also helps remove those feelings making me feel totally fine about it, if you'd start "backing out" of it/setting it wrong. I can try explain better when I've woken up again, can't find words or express myself in any way in this state.

Sorry if the text is a bit weird I've been awake on meth for 3 days, just kept going cause I know I'd get benzo today so now I'm really really exhausted and confused after some clonazepam and pregabalin, drinking a glass of yoghurt and then it's bedtime for a day or a week or so. Nighty nighty! 

Eктωρ said:

It is. Good trips are legitimately among the best things in life.

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I agree. Even though it once really ****ed me up for about 8 months, that was probably the time that I learned the most of who I was and so much more. I'm so glad I decided to do it that first time, all alone in the early morning. The trip was great, a sitter might have been good ofc, but the whole ordeal tought me so much. Unfortunately I also spiraled out quite a bit with my addiction during this time. In my opinion, psychedelic drugs don't work as well as they should when you're already an addict. But it made me alot stronger, more confident, not giving a **** about the opinions of others and has pretty much cured much of my social phobia.

This in addition to MDMA/E every few months has really done wonders for me as a person. I'm still thinking about that ayahuasca, maybe that can help me get on the right track? But right now I jut dont want to take the risk. Finishing school (drop-out due to mental illness) for example. Got three years of school left, and the acid and MDMA/E really really makes me motivated to follow my goals, what I want to do with my life and what really is important.

I very much approve of therapy including MDMA, like shulgin's wife has been doing. Anti-depressants just ****s you up, stopped taking them a few years ago thank god. Of course they work wonders for some people, but I'm not one of them. It's also completely removed all the suicidal thoughts I've had in the past. But of course you should be very careful with psychedelic drugs if you've got any mental disorders. If you can't see the light, and try to process it correctly, you might be stuck in the shadows for quite a while.

krik said:

I knooow I was just bored. Probably gonna be another 6-7 months before I forget how ****ty the side effects are for such a crude feeling drug.

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Yeah it's bloody horrible, a really dirty feeling all over the rush, but yeah it's pretty good. But I can't stand coming down from it, ******** cried last time (guess I had my reasons though) but saved myself with some Lyrica. There's no crash Lyrica haven't saved so far. On 1,2g lyrica, some clonazepam from the other night and a line of bupe right now, waiting for the effects. Think I overdid it a bit this time but I'm lucky it's bupe though. I would probably be hooked on that if it weren't for the horrible side-effect of not being able to ****, and when you do get to **** it rips your ******* open and you've got a little baby in the toilet. God damn. Not to mention I can't sleep on it either, I'll get tired, but it's just impossible to sleep.

Going to be a great weekend though, some molly, good music and some friends and a sauna!

krik said:

I did DMT last night, only 10 bucks a hit. ******** hell that's a good drug.

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Awesome. Was it your first time or have you done it before? I still haven't tried it, not a good time right now. But did it feel more easy/smooth on the psyche than say acid or shrooms? I've got so much in front of me this summer, so much **** going on, can't risk messing it all up again.

Drugs are everywhere in my town atm. Was much harder a few years ago, but as well as getting more and better contacts as the years have gone, the market really has grown both in size and variety. I like.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

groovy stuff, man... I'd enjoy it more if my dealer would text me back..

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Yeah he has a few cool tracks. Short mixes and all. Groovy! Yeah that sucks, one didn't answer for 2½ days a while ago and then came with some pretty average E. Quite short on money so buying E's for 15-30~ bucks (if they're good, which they have been lately) are cheaper than 120-150 bucks (800-1000 SEK) for a gram of real good pure MDMA though. Going for that this weekend though. Been a week on sub/bupe and OD'd (not dangerous, just too much) a bit the last day which made me puke for 1½ days (forgot to take antihistamines before and during). So going with my usual schedule for some time now, today just a few zopiclone and beer. Maybe some clonazepam later on. Staying away from the sub/bupe atleast for a week so I don't get stuck in yet another addiction or anything.

Easy to fall for that drug when you just want to get **** done on a lower dose or take a little bit more and forget the world for a day. Heavy, but not too euphoric. Awesome with lyrica though.

Did you get to your dealer then? What goodies did you take back?

Cerebrum Stercora said:

of Montreal, they're sexy *****es, check it;

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Sounds cool man. Sadly I've not seen alot of live music, but I'm going to "Psykjuntan" here in Sweden this year, BJM (Or Anton, not sure if gion etc is accompanying the band.) is coming too! Dungen will be there aswell but they haven't released anymore info yet afaik. Will be a great time for sure!

Here's a cool (but short) track for you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrgN3qOh3VM

Cerebrum Stercora said:

Got drunk as **** on vodka outside the doors, my friends bought molly on the inside, the band was ******** great. I ran into my ex's brother and his girlfriend, which was only a little awkward.

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Haha, sounds like a good night out! Hard to act normal when you're rolling like hell hehe. Doing some molly next weekend/week. Been doing bupe for a few days now, taking a break though. Now I'm just drinking some beer along with some lyrica.

Btw what band did you see? Do you remember?

Cerebrum Stercora said:

Sounds like you two had quite a bit of fun 
My dealer keeps telling me he's going to be getting shrooms soon. He sold some bad ones a few years ago though, made a bunch of  kids puke blood, I don't know if I trust him.
I'm going to an of Montreal concert in Philadelphia tomorrow, I'll be with my girlfriend and a few friends, my ex's brother will be there; he's a good chap, rather man-pretty like myself. Today I must procure concert weed and/or concert speed... I'm not high yet... it's the morning...

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Hehe had quite a good time but my mate decided to go get high on bupe instead as he never tried that before, ended up puking his guts out. Which I am aswell now, not puking, but on bupe. Feeling really smooth.

That's some weird ****.. Don't know much about shrooms really, if they can go bad or so, he might have accidentally got another shroom that looked like a whatever sort it was, happens every now and then I think. Sounds cool, hehe man-pretty. You should go procure that stuff and get high!

So maxed or whatever you call it right now. Uhm. Very sped-up like a fast car, time to get going on the guitar oh lol that rhymed I'm a ******** artist!111.. Hope I dont accidentally play so hard my fingers fall off. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE. Peace. Or speed. Time to get the stoneface on so nobody suspects anything. Having some anti-drug peeps here atm or atleast they dont  do drugs very much anywhere anymore I mean but I couldn't get to cut that out anyway. have a good one people.

I'll just leave that misplaced word irght there too.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

Last night was an adventure... I did about two milligrams of ativan and half of a klonopin (didn't get the dose) with a shot of orange cognac and a few mouthfuls of vermouth (and some weed, of course). It wasn't bad, I sat around with my girlfriend (who was also high) and we played video games, rode bicycles, smoked cigarettes, watched a few movies, and exchanged oral favors.

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**** sounds good man. Just did a good line of speed, drinking some beer and chilling the **** out. Feeling ****ing great, on top of the world my man. Done some lyrica aswell which is what I am addicted too anyway so shouldn't matter too much. Sukcs being addicted to that **** man, you get ill real quick, 6½ hour half-life, soon as  that's over you're starting to feel the anxiety creeping up on you, the next day you're feverish, shaky, can't eat anything, can't fall asleep at all, after that you get cramps, you can't see for **** and then you start having epileptic attacks. Never gone so far yet though, always keeping it on the schedule nowadays, usually just sick a day or two a week at most. Very similar to benzo-withdrawal with some opiate-withdrawal in it.

Just bought 16mg's of buprenorphine aswell, will be enjoying some tomorrow and then go meet a girl in another city in a few days and do some really good molly crystals. **** I'm shaking all over. Hava good night everyone I'll probably be up writing all kinds of novels about nothing or maybe try repair something that isn't actually broken as usual. ****ing speed lol. Feels good though! Over n out.

Oh and decided to do that ayahuasca, in 1½ weeks or so it's time. Can't wait!

Eктωρ said:

I wish I could find some reputable ayahuasca people around here. Many scammers.

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You're south american right? Thought it was quite easily accessible there. And I'm in bloody sweden, lol. And this Ayahuasca has been tried by many so far, with good (without the exception of my friend, of course, but he had too much to deal with). I'd much much rather smoke DMT first though, but it's been dry for a while now. Will be here in a few weeks I guess, but the ayahuasca is quite the limited product I guess.

Think I'll be drinking some of that Ayahuasca next week. Can't wait, positive energy right now, good **** happening finally.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

I enjoyed both of those a lot, thanks man! I've been checking out la Hell Gang's EP some more, they're pretty cool. That vocalist looks like a young Scott Asheton.
I'll be doing some klonopin with my girlfriend tonight, probably just one milligram. We'll also burn through about two grams of green crack if all goes as planned.

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Sounds good man. Been doing too much kpins lately so taking it a bit easy now.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

I love Nirvana... today I've been listening to the Mars Volta, and not much else.

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You've got good taste man. Check out Omar Rodriguez Lopez from Mars Volta's solo projects. Some real weird stuff and a whole lot of diamonds, might take some listening though.

And a tip for everyone, check out psicomagia, great prog-rock. I even got myself two LP's, but maybe I'm gay like that.

EDIT: Oh and by the way cerebrum, maybe you'll dig this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1jli9L1gyI from 75', love that spaced out garage-proto-punk-freakout... Check this band out too, from chile I think https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkAAyWdewjQ

Dystopian said:

Jack White is a great guitarist, when I finally listened to more of the White Stripe's songs I realized how great his songwriting and guitar skills are. I also like Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine to an extent, Pink Floyd and the like. A great guitar always gets me.

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Same here, love all those bands. Guitar is what gets me the most. I especially liked when it's really spaced out and distorted like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CUqURTZnzw and this song on xtc is amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFp9nJbnRfk also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ7bfHizM0I and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m3YbPoyL-A great on X. The MC5 version is great aswell, but doesn't have the same come-up so to speak, you really feel that first soloing right through your spine. ******** amazing. And then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V_0RfG6h3Q when coming down..

There's a documentary called "it might get loud" with jack white, jimmy page and the edge which is quite good. Not that much of a U2 fan, but jack white and jimmy page are just amazing.

EDIT: BTW I think this was one of the first songs I started practicing on the guitar (RATM - Maggie's Farm) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmceSj07_fs played that CD over and over. Still got my old RATM poster with the black bg/red fist on my wall.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

It's always hard finding a dedicated drummer, I'm still looking for one myself. We play all sorts of ****, the music that we write is alternative, nihilistic rock if anything. We cover a lot of bands that we like too though, recently it was the White Stripes, the Stooges, and Creedence Clearwater Revival. We mostly just sit in my room with grass and jam hehe.

That's pretty sinister, Sorkenlol, the same thing happened to one of my friends a while back. The guy was making and smoking DMT on a fairly regular basis for a few months straight. He completely lost interest in reality and grew increasingly bitter. I also haven't spoken to him in a long time, he ran away to Peru.

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Sounds good, like that kind of music. Listening to Thee oh Sees live at Death Audio atm, good ****. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjwORI8DhYo&feature=relmfu I also do that with some of my musician-friends, I love it. I keep spilling blood on my guitar when I get really ****ed up, as I'm just strumming away too hard in my own little world. Kept the last two blood-sessions on my guitar for the memories, has gotten a pretty good looking deep-red/black color. Used the same guitar for 10 years, so it doesn't really matter.

Yeah that sounds alot like my friend, he's all lost. The guy who made it said he just couldn't take the mind**** which I completely understand.. He has lots of demons deep within which he has not yet spoken about to anyone but me, so no wonder they probably all came up in the trip.

Cerebrum Stercora said:

We haven't released anything yet, we just get around and play at friends' houses and open mics and wut-naught.
I couldn't imagine having to deal with something as awful as that on molly, sorry to hear about that, man.

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Ok, sounds cool. What type of music are you playing? My friends band just got started off pretty good, I don't like their genre too much but they're very talented. Yeah it really sucked, haven't talked to him yet, I've usually been good at these situation but ****.. Jesus.. I can't bear the thought. Smoked a lot of weed at the moment though, so while rolling on the E it dimmed out pretty quickly. Going to go see him this week though, see how he's doing, just got his own apartment and all, life just starting and this happens. I'd be completely crushed myself.

Planned to do DMT this weekend, not sure anymore though. Right now I've only got access to Ayahuasca, and I don't want that, even though the guy keeps telling me it's much better than DMT. Sure, I believe it's more of a trip but I'd rather do the DMT next time it comes around. Ayahuasca ****ed up one of my closest relations, made the guy close to ******** schizo. Creepy as hell, haven't met him for some time now but last time he was all about wanting to learn how to manipulate people into doing what he wanted.. ****ed up.. Distant yet sped up. Just wanted him to get the hell out really, not at all the person I used to know. Like the opposite, in a bad malevolent way.

Found out something ******** horrible while doing E, thought my friend was messing with me at first. But while tripped out (Had just smoked really good weed for the first time in 7 months too, haven't enjoyed it very much lately, so I got spaced out completely), he told me one of my best friends (who I haven't seen for a while, unfortunately) lost his mother last week. I am so bloody sorry for him. (Btw, my friend wasn't doing this to "**** with me", he was just as tripped out and simply opened himself up completely, I'm glad I know, so I can be there for my friend.)

Ah bloody fantastic night.. Good E and weed with my best friend, wonderful night.