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I have had so many lords attend my feast they do not all appear in the hall, which means I don't get the full benifit I should for them being there.  On a side note, usually one of the would be kings is present and will often be there even though some lords are missing.

Hopefully he adds respawn timer for bandit lairs to the next tweak MB but this works if you want to disable the lair respawn.

http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,115135.0.html

OK I tested again and I did keep the FIRST village I was given, despite it being attached to another city/castle that I don't own.

Has this always been the case? I thought in the past you didnt keep those.

With all the bugs marked as fixed in the bug forum it should be more like 2.0

I don't know for sure but I suspect your honor may have something to do with it also.  I am a big fan of catch and release so I tend to have very high honor.  I'm pretty sure the other lords have same relation rules with their king as ours do so each time you catch one he should like his king a little less.

I was taking over the Sarranid's earlier and with only 2 castles left There was one Lord I just couldnt convert.  Finally I gave up, appointed a marshal and they marched up to his castle.  I decide to give it one last shot and amazingly enough, with 15 Sarranid lords laying seige to his castle he saw things my way  and converted.

I don't get the quest for the feast. No invitation mesage comes on screen and feast begins immediately.  No faction gained, even speaking to lords already present gives no feast dialogue.
There are multiple posts on bug forum re Feast bugs.

You going to fight the windmill?

I have 99 RTR, my kingdom contolls all of Calradia and my vassals all still refer to me by my first name.

If they work properly they will let you gain + relation with each lord who attends and remains till it ends.  If you stop by and speak witch each lord during the feast you get more + relation also.
If you have a wife, give the feasts a try, if you don't actually see the quest for the feast when you tell her to send invitations then you have the same issue I do.

The problem is, for me and many others the feasts don't work properly when I have my own kingdom.
Also seem to be a few food items missing from the purchase list of villages which makes it very hard to throw a very good feast.

As a work around I used tweak MB to adjust the relation affects of giving fiefs.  If you do that I'd recommend keeping it set to normal accept when your actually handing out fiefs or the enemy lords will be super loyal to their kings due to this adjustment + feasts.

Looks like it worked.  Thanks again.

Thanks!  I'll give it a try.

I didn't want to get rid of all bandits but the bandit lairs = tons of bandits in the area and they respawn like 1 or 2 days after you destroy them.  On top of that I can't even get a quest for the ones I need gone so I just wana stop them from reappearing.

I'd rather juts automatically get the + rep to each lord persent after a siege. 
Why do we need to go talk to them in the first place?

a Cow 说:

Including this detail may also create additional quests to seek more personal favoritism and bring more benefits of ruling the Realm.

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Quest for medieval boob job?

Just suggest to your king that he siege the place you want, then when its taken you ask him for it right away so no need to go look for him.

I have the same issue with a different castle.

I would like to go in and juts edit the dungeon and remove the bars, but I don't know how.

My guess is having one of your vassals as a war marshal makes a big difference.  I just wiped out 2 kingdoms a few days ago and near the end of each one they would spam peace requests 2x a day.