Well, I do things exactly as you!
I currently have 395 honor. Among my 15 vassals I have 9 devoted to me. I gave all my castles and the town I didn't want to them and gave villages to the others. So your advice would be to continue like this and not care about the others?
Also, you mentioned that they are called Upstanding or Good Natured. Where can I find this information? I searched but didn't find it.
EDIT : I saw in the wiki that personnalities are not explicitly told in the game, no wonder I didn't find it^^