I can understand a lot of the frustration of the OP, so far. As for how everybody is conducting themselves in this gripe-fest is something I will not discuss further.
I think that having your own personal goals is a big part of keeping this game interesting, and I can respect wanting to acquire that perfect matching setup for you and your crew.
We have to remember, also, that this game is still expecting further, and deeper, development. (Not to mention the already existing plethora of mods!) I expect a lot out of further versions. I was very impressed with the last upgrade/update. The combat is so enjoyable and everything so far is really good looking by now. The games dimensions of play almost have to start expanding in the conceptual realm.
Meaning what? Better missions? More options to interact and decide how the game progresses? More interesting dialogue? (When will they ever say anything besides, "Well, nothing new lately. Prices, weather, the war. Nothing new." I mean, why does that dialogue even exist?)
I hope so! Which perhaps would mean there is more to take your mind of off your wardrobe.
As for the available armors... I mean, doesn't your character look the same in the reinforced and the regular armor? I mean, I think I noticed some rust on some stuff, but I think I was playing a mod. So at least your adventures can look just as cool, just for fun or for screenshots and even videos.
Ah, nevermind, you wanna have a chance to play a character in a full reinforced/balanced/heavy getup, and you wanna play him while ... what? While it matters...?
At low levels, you can notice the differences. At higher levels when you can kill everyone with no backup, you don't get to appreciate the sweet armor quite as much.
Anyways, what I love about Mount & Blade is the combat play. What I hate about Mount & Blade (lately this is my gripe), is how the horses run into trees and soldiers and even each other like they are just runaway bumper cars. What horse would run straight into a tree just cuz its rider happened to be looking at the freshly punctured dome of an enemy knight right behind them? I recently entertain myself by keeping track of which horses run in front of me and make my horse rear. Then I let my soldiers take care of the bad guys while I follow that horse around (often they are carrying one of my own soldiers) and I kill it, and if it has a rider, the rider too. ( I have decided my character is a ruthless general who is a spoiled brat and if anyone messes with his flow he takes them out, no matter who they are.)