Fair point, it is about priorities, and my opinion is only my own.
But I personally do find the word 'rape' generally offensive (unless used 'properly'), and I find use of the word 'gay' offensive if used as quoted above, when it is used in a forum (such as this one) that is a public face of a company that is trying to appeal to both adults and, crucially, to children.
I have seen goatse in my time, and laughed at it in the right context. But here (I think most people would agree) it wouldn't be funny at all, and I see use of the word 'gay' as a similar thing, just much watered down. On the right site it is funny to call someone gay. On a forum such as this one, I don't believe it is.
As for the hello threads ... wouldn't it be a better idea to have a hello thread sub-forum? Then all of these threads could be moved there instead of locked, which would probably feel less like a rebuff to the poster.
I think one thing that has really irritated me about this forum (and others) is the whole Perfect English thing (so this is not a comment on the mods, but the posters). I'm dyslexic - it takes me about twice as long to write a post like this that it would the average person, and I was very lucky to go to a special school for 5 years when I was young. If I hadn't had that luck, god only knows what my posts would have been like. I just hate the thought of someone without my luck in this respect taking an hour to post a genuine concern or opinion, only to have someone with a chip on their shoulder post 3 minutes later ignoring the post's intention and critisizing the grammar. Same could be said for someone who has English as a second language.
Edit : Sorry did you add the second part of that post later? I must have missed it if not.
I don't think an instant ban should be given, but (in my opinion) a good start would be for a mod to post in the thread, publicly stating that using the words in this way is not considered acceptable in the forum. And then, perhaps a ban if it continues.