Thing is, I have 100,000 denars, around 600 renown, and plenty of villages like me. While I recently started a one-man war against the Nords, I'd have really liked it if the other Vaegir lords would assist me - if I could find a way to make war against my chosen foe. However, none are, so taking places like cities is momentarily out of the question - what with my foes possessing forces in the thousands bottled up in their coastal harbor-fortresses. With the rest of my allies at my side, I could start, you know, getting somewhere.
Note that this is not to say that this is a bad game. I love it, and clock in hours every day. But it seems an unfortunate number of those hours are spent looking for a challenge, not participating in one.
Ben