This is an awesome and well-detailed guide! I'd like to add an addendum about some things, if it helps:
Village Management:
After becoming King to a city, one of your priorities is to build even better relations with your connected villages. Hire a treasurer, and lower all the village taxes down to Very Low. Don't bother lowering the taxes on the city, unless the economy is suffering.
This will do two things: First, Very Low taxes will increase relations every week. Second: It will help improve the prosperity, especially if said village has been sacked many times.
Very high village relations and prosperity will yield massive amounts of recruits. I've recorded getting about 170 T1 and T2 troops on a single recruit, and about 50 T5 on another, on a 99 relation village.
Also remember that you can now swap fiefs with another lord, so when one village hits 50+ relations, swap with a lord who has a low relations village, lower taxes, and profit!
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Leaving an Open Village
This is something you need to address when you conquer your first property outside of your capitol. Whenever a new castle or town, always select to appoint someone in the future.
This has several benefits:
-You can discuss with other lords as to who gets the fief. If you have high persuasion, you can convince them to support your choice and not suffer the relations hit you would normally get. Plus, if you speak to your adviser about how the other lords are feeling, you can gauge which lord likes whom (which helps, because you actually get relations boosts if you grant fiefs to lords whom have friends or relatives).
-You can choose to leave the satellite village unclaimed. You will miss out on taxes and relations, but every lord with decent relations and a grudge against their boss will come knocking on your door.
This leads to...
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Selecting Your Lords
During your travels, make sure you introduce yourself to every lord you come across. This is because it adds them to the Known Lord List, which lets you see their renown, personality, holdings, and feelings towards their liege. This is invaluable when you start to preemptively headhunt personnel for your empire. Lords with negative relations to their liege will be able to be convinced to your cause, the lower the better chance. However, you always need to use the SAME pitch when you persuade them, or in the future, people will call you out on your flip-flop.
Obviously, you are going to want lords with high renown, but even a low renown lord with a village can help you out in a fight, so don't discount them either (but don't go around giving them your most important castles and towns!), but more important is their personality. Personality can make or break your kingdom, as having very divisive lords will tear your kingdom apart with arguments. I'll break them down as so:
Do Not Want tier personalities:
-Bad-Tempered/Quarrelsome: They're basically jerks. They do not get along with anyone other than their relatives, and will cause massive amounts of tension and arguments within the kingdom, that you will have to take the time out and solve. These guys tend not to stay with their kingdoms for too long.
-Debauched: They will want to screw anything that moves, which leads to many, many fights over women. Not as bad as Bad-Tempered, but it's very much a pain to deal with, unless the lord was too good to pass up.
Managable personalities:
-Martial: This is one of the more preferred personality types to work with, as most lords in the game have this one. Easy to manage and get along with, as long as you give them a fief to work with.
Not Sure, but I avoid anyways:
-Pitiless/Sadistic: (I avoid these types, but if anyone wants to fill info in, it's appreciated!)
-Calculating/Cunning:
Desirable personalities:
Upstanding/Good-natured: The best guys, hands down. Their relations with you will go up as you get honor, AND they do not lose relations with you. There however is a catch: They most likely have absurd relations with their lord, and will never ever leave him. However, there are times when the planets will align, and a U/GN lord will have bad liege relations: GO AFTER THEM! If you're at war, fight them as much as possible and imprison them. If you're honorable, you probably already have good relations with them, and each time you defeat them, they lose relation with their liege.
As for guys that show up on your doorstep: You will not have a way to see their personality until you recruit them, so just save, check their personality via the chancellor, then reload if the guy is not to your liking. For those who are on realistic mode: Simply don't give them a fief, and never side with them. They'll go away eventually.
Granting Fiefs
As I mentioned earlier, remember to discuss with the other lords and try to convince them to your motives. But also remember that lords will patrol the areas around and between their fiefs. So give important chokepoints to powerful and high-renown lords, and keep appointed fiefs close together, so they can rush to their defense when they are sacked.