1 shoot her in face evey battle, eventually you'll get lucky(1-2% chance) and she's die, re-marry, don't get catfished this time.
2 Just Win Battles, workshops are garbage, probably always will be.
3 Put ranged units at the back left of the map up to the red and face them slightly to the left so they all fire on the HA as they come in and they can't circle.
HA will either get stuck on back and die, stop in front for a shoot out and die or try and pull back and die. Also if you have infantry put it on the back left corner around where the HA will get stuck so you can bum rush them into it. You can charge cav at them once they're close but be careful not to do it till they're in the corner or it makes them pull back. If you have your own Khans guards you can put them on hold fire and charge when the enemy HA gets close/in corner and they just kill them outright.
4 yeah, don't smith, sorry
5 beat them up and release them after you leave thier faction and are at war with them. Also vote for them if they're on a ballot for fiefs/war/peace (I bet you want them to vote for you though heh heh heh) or donate influence to them on kingdom. clans menu.
If you mean your own vassals, I don't think you should need to but gifting them a fief or saving them in battle will do it. To me I get so much relation when I make a wanderer into a clan or after recruiting a lord and gifting them a fief, I just have never had any drop relaitons.
6 Beat down their armies and don't take their fiefs, check often for a chance at tribute because they VERY EASILY recover their parties. To offer tribute they need Low field power compared to needed garrison power (# of fiefs) so gotta get it before they recover. If they lose more fiefs they rate their field power higher and want more war, so yeah bad mechanic... this is why no-land faction are declaring war on everyone too btw.