You should probably stay there for a bit while it's in disarray ideally, so it can regain prosperity allowing you to place troops there without stressing your castle more than it can handle.
Then you put your fodder there and go recruit more and just fill up your castle every time until you have little to no spare food. Then when you have an area under your belt, assign a companion with a party to go around and up the security. When you've expanded, you can summon all those companions into a large army when you go to war without needing to use any influence or have any vassals.
Other members of your clan will donate troops to your garrison as well, or other lords in the army if you were in one that took the castle/city. You an also form your own armies with them. Once you're clan level 3, it's not hard to form a 0 influence army (assuming you're in a kingdom) with just you and your companions.
It works now, or rather I have the perp with me when I talk to the guy in the village.
However, I still can't convince him to let bygones me bygones, and he and his chums kill the perp before i can intervene in any meaningful way
I think I'll just ignore the Family Feud quests (along with the Get Weapons for..., Train Troops for..., Find daughter of ..., etc.).
After 74 hours in game I'm getting a little weary of the quests, which are quite repetitive and don't provide enough Renown to get me to Tier 3 and start my own kingdom.
One tires of endless little quests, and hunting parties of looters, raiders and bandits, which just give one minimal amounts of renown...
There it is. I'm hopeful the system will feel a lot smoother once we have more to do and games strength a little longer.
To be fair the leveling system wouldn't be so bad if the game had more content. For instance quests to level up blacksmithing by creating X amount of swords or combat by fighting in arena. I think the biggest problem as of right now is that the game itself is entirely too easy once you get past the initial part of being a bum. Once a kingdom starts to get a leg up they steam roll the map with or without your help, and since this game is built around that as a concept, it is essentially over once that happens making the demanding leveling system pretty worthless. In Warband, even if a faction got a leg up, it actually became more difficult because everyone would go to war with you and certain lords would hate you. Here it seems like none of that is implemented as of yet so the more land, the more power. If they were to make the game somehow last longer per playthrough, (a lot longer) or add in more quest type content that independently raised levels slightly faster, it would probably sort it out, either would suffice. As of now, which it is in early access, the leveling system doesn't really fit the game, but I hope they have a plan.
The other guy seems to be talking about leaving some troops in the garrison to defend, which is obviously a good idea lol
If you are at war the enemy will probably target your castle if there's nobody in the garrison.
If you end up winning the vote, whatever units you or your faction leaders will be all that's there to defend it
Well you don't, you can keep your companions in your party and leave the settlement without a governor and it will be just fine.
The only time you should leave a companion there is if you captured a settlement of the their culture, making them the governor will give the settlement a loyalty boost. Otherwise there is no point.
Rather than forcing you to choose between 2 perks, they should give you points to spend on the perks you want and at most limit the level to which the perk is obtainable through the level.
All in all I feel like the system forces you into such a stupid and convoluted meta game in order to get the most out of the system and actually not really hamper your growth potential and screw your character completely.