What was great about warband was the fact that you could choose to play as woman in an unforgiving, patriarchal medieval society.
You weren't respected because that was the way it was back then. The most rewarding part about Warband was the fact that your kindom was completely self made, based on your merit alone as a female character.
That's why I agree with you. It should be rarer to see a female lords leading men to battle. It does break the immersion a little bit about the historical setting.