I agree that it needs something to regulate it. I think in my in game last 6 years, Ive had maybe 3 days of peace, and that possibly had a city rebel then fraction after declares war. Declares peace for a 4 days then back at it, its now a constant circle with the same 4 border cities and castles changing so often Im bored of fighting to retake or defend.
I also want to send a caravan out with my kids to get them xp, but I cant because the constant warfare means that all the lands between city's are rammed with bands of looters etc, never mind hostile cities and lords meaning caravans cant go anywhere!