(It's obvious. Or rather, the actual trolls are super ****ing obvious. Transphobic trolls think they're being smart, but they're about as subtle as anti-vaxxers or militant vegans or people trying to get you into MLMs. Just the way they phrase things and the perspective their "questions" come from is pretty transparent.)
The decision process is a matter of reaching a point where you're not willing to pretend for the sake of others anymore. Being seen as male all my life was a mask I wore, a shield I hid behind. Ftr, I'm also Autistic and have ADHD, so "masking" is something that comes really easily to me. In fact, being trans wasn't even the mask that caused me the most pain and grief. Assuming you're cis (not sure if "rather stay as a feminine gay" was hypothetical or personal), it would be easier to stay as an effeminate man because you ARE a man. Imagine you were expected by everyone in society to live as a masculine woman. Like, if you woke up in a sex-swapped body, would you just accept what society perceives you as now and feel fine in a socio-normative female role? Or would it feel wrong and would you need to learn to just "play the role" just to keep intolerant people from being hateful towards you for not being what they expect? And how long could you live like that and just bite your tongue every time someone completely misjudges you and makes erroneous assumptions about you?
If you've ever worked retail, imagine having to live your entire life as your customer-service persona. Then on top of that, throw in some body dysmorphia so that you cringe and feel gross every time you see yourself in the mirror and that's kinda how it feels to live with dysphoria. Although for many trans people, the dysmorphia is buried so deep, all they ever feel is the euphoria that comes from it being GONE. Gender euphoria is ****ing amazing!
About the hate, there's a lot of VOCAL hate today, but transphobia in general is WAY down from 20 or even just 10 years ago. The feminism of the 90's and 00's was completely terfy and drove me away from progressive and queer circles for a long time. The truth is, most people just don't really care anymore. And as more and more people walk away from the "you're perverted and evil" camp, the people left in that camp are getting more desperate, loud, and whiny. It sucks that they make life less safe in the short term, but in the long run their behaviour will simply show them for the sad trolls they are. Also, I'm in one of the most progressive cities in the world, so things are relatively smooth on that front. I'm actually on gov't assistance atm, working towards permanent disability status, so I get a lot of food from the food bank, which is an evangelical organization, and even the people there are considerate and always use my preferred name and pronouns.
Also, gender-confirmation surgery is not a mandatory part of transition. Many people do, some can't for various reasons, and some choose not to. It's really no one's business any more than random strangers asking if you're circumcised or whether you trim or shave.
What I really want to hear is your perspective on the "propaganda". Like, if you find some, share it and then tell me how you perceive it.
