I haven't posted in ages, and I logged in just to reply to this glorious post.
Wow. You really hate these things, and yet I have a single question: Have you tried...getting gud? Really. Every single one of your complaints is...well, let's just say you can fix it by getting gud.
Just hire a surgeon until your skill is high enough. They're not that hard to find.
Not sure exactly how this is a problem. Fighting at the beginning of the game is almost a complete joke (especially in realistic mode), and the smartest thing to do is trade early on. You don't have any troops, so why would you try fighting? You can make enough money early on by trading until you have enough troops to never have to worry about bandits. Just be sure to get enough horses to keep your speed up, and enough mules to raise your carry weight so you're not overburdened. I'm not kidding here, fighting in the beginning of the game is one of the worst ideas and will probably get you killed.
if you start in battanian land you're stuck at the lake and when you try to leave it a cluster **** all over the outlet paths
There are major trade routes here. Again, trade until you have the troops to not have any issues with bandits.
Looters n hillmen have too many rocks
If you're getting your troops killed by rocks, then you're letting them get too close. Get some archers and cavalry and force them to flee before they get in range. You only have to kill a few bandits for the others to retreat.
Do you realize sea raiders are easier then looters
Lol
People get ran over by trucks and have less damage then a Cataphract getting BONKED in a tournament! It's Bananas, B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
?????
The culture perks are bad
They're really not. Each culture has ups and downs (except Khuzait, we all hate them)
Steppe bandits are too fast
They're meant to be. They have the fastest horses in the game, and you can be super fast, too, if you have better horses. Stop buying cheap horses (probably attainable lategame, en masse)
It's too hard to kill you husband now
Yes, this here, officer. But really, if I'm not mistaken you can just kill them on a battlefield...not sure why you...want to, though... :/