Well, I look forward to trying out the 1.5 patch, the changes sound like things are headed in the right direction, but figured I'd throw my opinion into the ring as a previous warband and current bannerlord player who is casual but has also played a great deal of MP.
From what I can tell, OP's main argument is that warband's combat looked goofy, which is true, some things looked ridiculous. Also that you needed to utilize some concentration and reaction time, which any challenging game will have you do. Also that Bannerlord's combat is great and should be striving ever more towards realism.
I think I'm going to have to disagree with the sentiments here that Bannerlord's combat is all that great. As an experienced casual MP player I can see the numerous problems with combat in it's current form. There is absolutely a block delay that is frustrating to deal with, there is more feint spam than there is in Warband because a lot of the other tools you could utilize in Warband's combat you are just not able to do, chamber or even punish the opponent when you know it's going to be a feint. Combat feels like you're fighting submersed in the ocean, it feels clunky and sluggish.
While duels in Warband certainly looked ridiculous most of the time (Certainly wasn't my cup of tea in MP), combat in other gamemodes does not look like that at all in Warband and your inexperience in Warband MP belies the statement you made of it looking completely silly with the feint spam.
Neither Warband or Bannerlord are realistic depictions of what a realistic melee fight looks like and I'm starting to wonder if you actually are aware of what a realistic Melee fight looks like. I would suggest watching some HEMA videos and such, to the untrained eye it looks janky, sword movements are quick but precise as opponents jostle around and try to figure out eachother's guards and how to get around them. But I don't think as far as a game goes we should be striving for realism, I doubt I'd be invested in playing a game that would take years of time to become even functionally proficient in. At least in Warband and Bannerlord you can get better at the game in a fraction of the time.
As for being stressed, I'm not sure why you feel so stressed or you're just conflating the term stress with concentration. Every game that has an adversarial nature requires concentration. If you want to run about on autopilot, that is perfectly acceptable but I think perhaps games like Bannerlord or Warband aren't the ones to be playing, something like autoclickers or turnbased games where you don't need to think much or have ample time to think on how you want to proceed.