If you have a savegame around a dozen days prior, I'd start again from here. You have too many weak lords (not to mention if you took everyone who defected, you most likely have lords with bad tempers like Haringoth, Plais or Meriga, which you should avoid like the plague because they'll betray you as soon as they're unhappy in the slightest), Alayen and Firentis could be your two main lords for the entirety of your first campaign. Use them to take the first castles and give it to them to make their armies stronger. Then strike peace and keep it for something like a week. Train troops, secure your lands, then declare war on someone who's near (NOT the one you just signed a truce with, most likely you'll have your first war against the Nords and then you can go against the Vaegirs for the second one) and get more lands. For the first campaigns, try to not have a single castle-less lord. You can keep the towns for yourself if you need the money, though I've given one or two away personally. Iirc, having a town increases your lord's party size by something like 20.
Of course, maybe you don't have another savegame, then you'll have to use this one. No time to look at it right now but I'll come back and check later.