Sure it takes a while, and is a pain. But a little patients and you can turn him around. It took around 125 game days. relation 37. He has 2 castles and 2 villages. It helped that he followed the marshal around like a puppy. So I gained relation with him after faction battles. But I waited to see what would happen if i kept asking after every relation gain. Eventually it worked. I think time and pursuit factor in somewhere.
Maybe but 125 in game days is quite a lot. Also one of the guys was really obnoxious anyway. I think he is going to turn traitor too based on asking him what he thought of the king and the amount of quarrels he has. Maybe I will try to get him kicked out of our kingdom and ask to have his castle. 
I guess the amount of game days is based on your playing skills and difficulty. At 350 days Im just ready to go rogue. I have over 250 noble recruits ready to become Pendor killing machines. I just hope when I turn the husband, he brings his castles with him. Then I will load up his garrisons with my expensive troops And keep the fodder to cheaply fill my garrisons.
As I said before, Im in search of the perfect game to finish. Its stupid how many new things Im still learning about this game. The worst is finding something out and deciding to start over. Again.... I have 147 different characters in my character folder.
